Mistakes...

We all make mistakes..we all do, really. Some are big mistakes..some small ones. It's the way life is, no one is mistake-proof. Normally, when we make a mistake start feeling guilty right after it; sometimes we dismiss the guilt..but sometimes it's too powerful to ignore. Again..that's the way life is. Logically, we should learn from our mistakes and not repeat them in the future. That doesn't always happen. In fact, that doesn't happen most of the time. We instinctively perform and repeat whatever action that gives us any form of pleasure, even if it's consequences are sour. The only actions that we do not repeat are those that do not give us any pleasure. For example, putting your hand in the oven while it's on 220 degrees Celcius, or sticking a pin in your finger wouldn't be something anyone would do over and over --except, of course, those who find pleasure in that..which is..well..freaky. But hey, to each his own!!

Basically, we're a species that learns by doing. We do something, we get hurt. Did it feel good? No. So we don't do it again. On the other hand, we might do something else, we get hurt. Did it feel good? Yes, it hurt but something else in that action gave me pleasure. I do it again. I know it will hurt, but it also gives me pleasure.

Now, wait a minute? Are you calling me stupid? What do you mean I'll do something again if I know it hurts? Even if it gives me pleasure, it still hurts..of course I won't do it. Hold it Hold it. CUT. I am NOT calling anyone stupid here. That is human nature. We seek anything that will give us pleasure, and we convince ourselves we can bear the pain, or the consequences.

So why would I do that? I could just do something that gives me pleasure and doesn't have painful consequences. Well, usually that thing that will bear unwanted consequences is wrong, and we know it is. Instinctively, doing the wrong thing is much MUCH easier to do than the right; so whenever we are depressed, in emotional pain, lonely, angry, jealous, frustrated..all that, we seek something to make us feel good. Of course, when you're in a mental state as such, you will look for the easy way out.

So the sequence of thoughts would be:

You're in a negative emotional/mental state --> you're not thinking straight, you want to feel better in any way--> Doing the right thing requires too much effort and hey, you could do it anytime!-->You give yourself an excuse to do the wrong thing because "you're angry, upset, hurt" or you "just want to do it"--> You start doing whatever it is that makes you feel better..all the while thinking "I know this will have consequences, but i don't care, I had to, I'm really tired, I've had it"--> you're done. You did what you were so desperate to do-->instantly, the satisfaction vanishes, the guilt appears.-->Uh Oh! This is the moment, your conscience is on its way, you're gonna get the whipping right now--> You're thinking of more excuses for doing something you knew was wrong, you run out of excuses..you start getting angry at yourself "why did I do this? Why did I let myself? I knew it was wrong, I shouldn't have done it. It wasn't that much fun anyway"-->But ofcourse, you don't admit that to anyone, you only say it to yourself-->Since you can't admit you feel guilty, you start getting short-tempered and angry, you take it out on whoever is around you and start saying "this is nobody's business, mind your own and keep your nose out of mine!"

Some of you will relate to this little story, others have it in another way..but it happens to all of us, one way or another. This doesn't make us bad, as I said, it is only human to make mistakes. BUT..it begins turning from 'human' to 'stupid' when you repeat it indefinitely. You know it hurts you, but you don't take any steps to stop it, you keep repeating it day after day, week after week, cigarette after cigarette, phone call after phone call, look after look..it all depends on what your mistake is..what is it that haunts you around and lurks on your every move..and ambushes you the moment you are weak. And the cycle starts again.


Does this mean we're doomed? Oh no, no way. God is far too generous and loving to leave us like that. First of all, we have the secret weapon of prayer. If we pray, we should know that He will never leave us, even if He responds a little later..there's always a reason for the delay. Second, in our times of strength, we should remind ourselves repeatedly of the pain we suffered from the consequences of our actions, so that in times of weakness it will be easier to remember what it will feel like IF we do this again. It helps, trust me.

Any feedback on this? I'd like to hear your thoughts, perhaps there might be something I could add to this. Thanks.