Sunday, 21 August 2011
Monday, 1 February 2010
أنا لسة حالا مخلصة كتاب أحمد العسيلي "كتاب مالوش اسم"، و الحقيقة الكتاب خلاني أفكر و أفكر و كإن أنا ناقصة تفكير! إحنا ليه دايما بنسمع جملة "أصل زمان كان كذا و كذا...لكن دلوقت خلاص الدنيا باظت" يعني أنا المفروض أروح أنط من الشباك؟ ولا المفروض أعيش حاطة إيدي على خدي و مكتئبة إني طلعت في الزمن ده؟ أنا معاكم إن فيه أوضاع كثيرة لا يمكن السكوت عليها و لازم نرجع للأخلاق و المباديء و الإحترام و الكلام ده كله، أنا أول واحدة بأنادي بيه. بس لحظة واحدة...هو عشان جيل أو أكثر يطلع فيه سمة معينة غالبة عليه، تفتكروا دي صدفة؟ ولّا في سبب؟ أنا شخصيا لا اؤمن بالصدفة في أي شيء، فأكيد فيه سبب إن الكام مليون شاب و فتاة و طفل في بلدنا و العالم كله، اللي وصلوا للمستوى المؤسف ده من السطحية و الهيافة و عدم إحترام الغير و و و الكلام اللي بنتلطش بيه في كل مكان من أجيال عبد الحليم و أم كلثوم، أكيد أكيد في حد مسؤول. طيب، حلو قوي، إذا أنا طفل أو شاب أو فتاة و طلعت - زي ما بتقولوا علينا كدة – مش متربي، يبقى حاجة من الإثنين: يا إما إن اللي مسؤول عن تربيتي (و هو من جيلكم) ما قامش بدوره صح بإنه ما كانش قدوة حسنة (و بالتالي دي مش غلتطي)، أو إنه يكون أصلا ما بذلش المجهود المطلوب في تقويمي و تربيتي على المبادئ و الأخلاق و الدين (و دي برضه مش غلطتي).
طيب خليني أسألكم سؤال ثاني، لما شاب يطلع يلاقي والده بيتكلم على الستات بطريقة غير محترمة أو بيعاكس واحده أو بيقولّه إعمل اللي إنت عايزه بس خللي بالك لحسن تتمسك وللا تلوث إسم العيلة، تفتكروا الشاب ده إيه في الدنيا ممكن يخليه يطلع يحترم البنات اللي معاه في المدرسة ولّا الكلية ولّا الشغل؟ و ميعاكسش البنات في الشارع عشان دول بنات ناس؟ أنا بقولكم إن الشاب ده لو طلع بيحترم البنات و الستات يبقى ده بتاع ربنا – معجزة يعني.
و لما بنت تطلع تلاقي والدتها بتكذب ولّا بتغتاب ولّا سعادتها لحظة ما جارتها اللي كانت معدية من جنب باب شقتهم من عشر سنين و بصتلها بصة من فوق لتحت دلوقتي واقعة في ورطة و حياتها نكد تفتكروا ليه البنت دي هتطلع نفسيتها سوية؟ إزاي و منين؟ زي ما أمي ربنا يخليهالي دايما بتقول "الخلاط لما تحط فيه برتقان مش هيطلعلك لبن!" زي ما مينفعش نزع بطيخ و نقعد ندعي يا رب تطلع فراولة! لو قعدت تدعي طول عمرك إستحاله هيحصل.
طبعا لكل قاعدة شواذ، يعني ممكن مثلا أم و أب يكونوا أحسن قدوة لولادهم و يربوهم على الأخلاق و المبادىء و الدين و في الآخر يطلع الولاد بايظين و ملخبطين. بس مش ده الأساس و مينفعش نركن على كده. لازم أنا أعمل اللي عليَّ و طول ما أنا ماشي في طريق الحياة أدعي ربنا إنه يعينني و يوجهني للصح و أكيد هيكون في أخطاء و دي طبيعة البشر، بس لما تكون النية لله و الإخلاص موجود يبقى ربنا أكيد لا يمكن يسيبنا لنفسنا و للدنيا.
و نقطة أخيرة أحب أضيفها و دي لكل أهلي أبناء الأجيال السابقة، حضرتِك و حضرتَك أمي و أبويا و أنا بأُكِن لكم كل الإحترام و التقدير و لا أقصد بكلامي إن أقلل من مجهودكم و تعبكم معانا، ده إنتم طريقنا للسعادة في الدنيا و الآخرة برضاكم عننا. أنا كل مرادي من الكلام اللي أنا كاتباه إنكم قبل ما تنهالوا على زمننا – اللي إحنا مضطرين نعيش فيه – بالإنتقاد و الكراهية إنكم تفكروا معانا إزاي ممكن كلنا نغير الوضع الحالي لإن أولًا كلّنا متضررين منه و ثانياً لإن جيلكم كان ليه دور كبير في وصولنا للوضع ده، ما إحنا أكيد متخلقناش كده!
أنا بأشكركم يا أمي و يا أبويا إنكم على الرغم من الوضع الحالي و الزمن اللي طلعنا فيه إنكم كنتم خير قدوة و خير أصدقاء لنا طول الطريق، و بأشكر كل أولياء الأمور اللي ربّوا ولادهم كويس في زمن أصبحت المغريات فيه كثيرة و التناقضات أكثر.
Sunday, 24 January 2010
- any of the feelings of joy, sorrow, fear, hate, love, etc.
|That is, of course, the dictionary’s understanding of the word; but what does a dictionary know? Has it ever experienced love? Anger? Joy? Has it ever felt that it was going to die of happiness or sadness? Honestly, I think that our ability to experience different emotions, some of which are extreme contradictions, is the eighth wonder of the world. It always amazed me how we can feel one thing, and only a few seconds later we could feel something that is the complete opposite. It also fascinated me that how we feel dictates how we see the world around us. Studying our emotions, their effect on us and those around us, and the causing factor behind each emotion has been on my mind for several years now. I thought about taking psychology classes to help me understand better, but I just don’t have enough memory space left in my head to add any unneccessary information! So I decided I’ll make it sort of a life journey, where I observe everything that happens around me and try to understand it. I ask myself all the time why I felt or reacted in a certain way, and why I think other people reacted the way they did in any given situation. All of that, of course, is part of my bigger goal of trying to understand life just a little bit better in hopes that I can produce something to give to the world and help them understand it in a better way. See, I believe that the main reason most of us live unhappily is because we just don’t understand this life we were brought into. When I take a mental (or call it virtual) step out of the universe and try to understand the grand scheme of things and try to put things into perspective, I realize that the rhythm of our lives is a little bit like a game of billiards after the first hit (pardon my lack of technical terminology in the game) and all the balls are running in random directions, hitting each other and their surroundings on the way. They don’t know what happened, why they’re running, or where they’re going..but they continue to run at full speed until something comes along the way that stops them, and everything settles down for what seems like a few seconds, or until the next player decides how to take his shot. Before you know it, everyone is running around again colliding with their surroundings without the slightest idea why they are doing so. I find it very amusing and intriguing that a certain action can provoke certain emotions in someone, but change the circumstances, and that same action can provoke an entirely different reaction in the same person. Why? Why is there no formula or rule that determines how we react to different things. It would make life so much easier, and I guess it would minimize argument and fight rates tremendously if we all understood why the other person is reacting that way. But see, life wasn’t meant to be handed to us on a golden platter, there has to be room for error. It is I who should be more tolerant towards people rather than expect them to react/talk/think exactly as I do. It is my responsibility to forgive others when they do something I see as “overreacting”, because if you think about it, from his/her point of view, their reaction is perfectly normal and it is you who do not understand or sympathise with them.|
Saturday, 19 July 2008
"Many people who order their lives rightly in all other ways are kept in poverty by their lack of gratitude."
It's quite true, you know, most of us have wonderful and amazing things in our lives but all we can see is what we don't have. I suppose it's just human nature that we have such a narrow field of vision. It is understandable that when someone needs something that they don't have, it can cause distress, and all the other blessings and gifts that we have don't seem like much anymore. However, I find that one of the ways to get over that, is by closing your eyes and opening your imagination...think of all the things in your life that you just cannot imagine living without...your eyes..your sense of smell, touch, taste, your ability to hear...your freedom to get up and walk, lie down, or sit..think of all those things, and imagine one by one your life without them. Think of all the details, visualize it as though it is an absolute reality. Now open your eyes, look around you, get up and walk in the room..touch the things that you see, concentrate on the way everything feels, looks, smells, sounds, and tastes. Just enjoying those five senses and trying to imagine life without them makes anything else you don't have seem far far away. You will wonder why you were so blind as not to see all the wonderful things you already have and enjoy. It is a perfectly normal process to want and need things that we don't have. It's when we make our lives miserable because of the lack of those things that is neither correct, nor is it normal. In addition to that, the more we focus on not having things the more we will not have them. You are sending out signals that you don't have some particular thing, so you will get more of what you focus on -- which is the lack of it.
You see, in order for us to receive what we asked for, we have to be a positive frequency; that is to say, in a positive state of mind, and by thinking all the time that we are miserable because we don't have this or we can't get that, we are making sure that we are in a constant state of negativity. Thus, we are blocking all the paths through which we could have received what we already asked for.
We all know this person, he is our neighbor, he is our colleague from work, or maybe he is one of our in-laws, in any shape or form we have all encountered, during the course of our life, someone who is like that. He is the person who refuses to believe or even acknowledge the fact that ANY good can happen in life. He thinks the weather is horrible all year round, the traffic was worse for him than anyone else , the boss is always picking on him, everyone treats him worse than anyone else. They always see the worst in any situation, and they refuse to let anyone think positive thoughts. This person, in all degrees of negativity, is probably never going to see any light in his/her life. Not only is this person attracting more of what he thinks about, he is literally blocking all possible paths of receiving anything good in his life.
Thinking of all the wonderful things in your life is the quickest and most efficient way to put yourself in a state of joy and happiness. Eventually, you reach the level where you feel like you are in love. In love with the world, with your life, with everything and everyone; this is when you would have reached the highest frequency there is, and this is when you will have become a magnet for all goodness and all that you wanted.
Wednesday, 9 July 2008
I realize I haven’t been posting anything for a while, and that is due to two things. One, I haven’t had anything worthy of your precious time, and two, I didn’t (and still don’t) have an internet connection these days. So I waited until something big happened. Something magnificent that I would be able to write about from my heart. And it finally did.
I would say all my life, but I would really mean just the past seven years because that’s when my life really started. It’s when I started to understand the deeper meaning of life. It is at that time that I started writing down my goals and planning out my life. It was my first ever turning point in life. So for the past seven years I have been wondering, asking myself, and asking God – why do certain things happen? What makes me delirious with joy one second and the next I’m ready to jump out the window with depression? Why is that the exact number of times that I think my computer will go crazy or stop working, it actually does? Why is it that some people just seem to have it all when others live like they don’t have anything at all? Well, through the course of those seven years, I have been getting bits and pieces of information, feedback from God to answer my little questions. Every time I learned something new it felt so good I just had to know more.
Ironically though, it seemed like throughout those seven years my life has been going from bad to worse. I didn’t know why but it seemed like this was the way things went for me. I mourned my ill fate and wondered what I could have possibly done to have reached this stage of misery. Me, the ever so cheerful, ever so joyful girl, I was always the most energetic one in the family. I was always open to new experiences and dying to do everything at the same time! I was always so excited about life that nothing could get in my way, not even an earthquake. I slowly wilted, I lost my light and energy, I forgot what I was so excited about. Life seemed to be treating me so badly that I just hated it, I got to the point that I would wish I was dead. It was sad. Really sad. But just then, at the darkest point of my life, at the lowest point I reached, God started to take my hand. I was so depressed one day that I had to get out of the house; I went to my sanctuary, Virgin Megastore! I browsed for hours through the books dying to find anything I could buy. After an eternity, I found myself magnetized towards a shelf that was never there before, in a corner that I never looked before. I swear it was like someone was behind me pushing me towards this shelf. My eyes fell on the cover of a book, a book that I have read about and have been dying to find because it supposedly summarized what the past seven years of my life had been about. This book, more valuable than any other man-written book that I know of in this world, is, The Secret. This book is the simplest and most joy bringing book I have ever read. I just cannot describe it enough. With every sentence I read I would go “oh my God, yes, that is so true!” or “Wow! That’s why this has been happening, or not happening”. It’s quite magical that a book of such depth and value could be so simple and clear. I really want to meet the author, Rhonda Byrne, to give her a hug, and thank her for the gift she gave to the world. And you know what, I believe I will one day .
So, what is that Secret I’ve been rambling on about? In the simplest of terms, it is the Law of Attraction. This is the law that governs all of our lives, each and every one of us lives by that law. Whether we like it or not, and whether we choose to or not, it is there, and it works. It works for the good and the evil, the happy and the miserable, the young and the old. It does not choose people and leave out others; it is there for all of us, our genie, as they call it in the book, who answers our every call.
It happened to all of us, we look at something, we say to ourselves “ Oh, I wish I could have that”, then we walk away and forget about it. A few days, weeks, months, or even years later, we realize that got what we wanted without even trying. If you look closely at the events that led you to getting what you want, you will see that if just one event or decision had been different, you wouldn’t have been led to having what you asked for. A more common example, you think of someone, you keep telling yourself, I want to call that person, I should get together with them sometime, you start remembering things you want to tell them or things that happened that remind you of that person, and then your phone rings. Yes, it is that person calling you. It happens with my mum all the time, and she’s always telling people “I was just going to call you, or I was just thinking of you” that I sometimes wonder if people think she’s just saying that! But I know it’s true. I believe in that law so strongly that I would believe that chocolate doesn’t exist before I’d believe that it doesn’t work!
I always asked myself, why is it that people like Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, Martha Stewart, and other icons of success in our modern world became the way they did. Most of them started out as very ordinary people, but with extraordinary dreams. Dreams that were much bigger than their logic could believe at the time. But they had faith, and that is why they are what they are now.
I used to think that just by thinking about something it would come true, but that’s not the way it works. I read books about the power of our subconscious mind, the power of positive thinking, and things of the sort, and that’s the picture that I got. If you think about something a lot, and with passion, if you need something so strongly it would happen. To be honest, that was a hassle. To gather the energy every time you want something, to become so passionate about it and want it like it’s a matter of life or death, is not always an easy thing to do. It is very consuming and you don’t always feel so strongly about the things you want, but you still want them. So for the last four years I sort of stopped trying to attract things into my life, I forgot about my goals, I just left myself to the furious tides of life. I let myself drift, personally, spiritually, socially, and financially. I had no control over my life and I hated my guts. My college years were the lowest points of my entire existence. Then I graduated. I hated life even more, but I was on my way up. V.E.R.Y S.L.O.W.L.Y. And now, a year after my graduation, I am once again the joyful, cheerful, innocent (but wise) child that I always loved. I love life, I love my life. Nothing changed much in my own life. Many of the things that I wanted still didn’t come true, but I now know that it was my fault they didn’t happen. I now know that I, and ONLY I, have all the power I need to bring about everything I wanted from life. All I had to do was simply ask. There were two things I used to do in my life that guaranteed I wouldn’t get what I wanted, I either wanted what I wanted so much to the level of desperation, or I didn’t want it at all and couldn’t see any way of it coming true. Either way, I was never going to get what I wanted from life. Then along came The Secret, it taught me that for life to start giving us what we want, for God to start answering our prayers, we must be in a state of joy, let go of our past pains and future fears, believe that what you want is already in existence, and finally, just let it go and don’t think about it. It will manifest itself into your life. It is not your job to worry about how it will happen, or when, all you have to do is ask, believe, and receive. When God tells us to pray for what we want, He does not tell us that he may answer our prayers; He tells us that it is mandatory that He will answer them. There are no terms, no conditions, and no catches. But for us to start seeing our wishes manifest themselves in our lives, we must first purify our hearts of any envy, hate, grudges, bigotry, or anything that could pull us away from entering the zone of joy and love in which we can receive what we asked for.
Everything that you can ever dream of in a 100 year life span is already in existence in the world. No matter how crazy it sounds, it is there. The idea of a virtual space through which people can talk, see each other, learn about anything, within parts of a second was once nothing more than a person, or several people’s vision. If anyone had talked about it a few hundred years ago, they probably would have been taken away to an insane asylum; and now, I think about 90% of the word’s population couldn’t imagine their life without the internet. So nothing is ever too crazy or weird to come true. Whatever you think is a wacky idea, there’s always something wackier! So yes, I do believe that they will invent that bar of chocolate that never finishes, and the water bottle that refills automatically!
This knowledge that God bestowed upon me has turned my life into a paradise. I wake up every single day with a smile on my face. I sing while I cook once again, I smile for no reason. I have more patience and tolerance with people and things than before. I am the best version of myself :D I have learned to be happy just because, I have learned that not having what I want is not always the reason I have a heavy feeling in my heart. I am at a place now where the moment I feel down, I see something on TV, read something in a paper, or in some way be reminded of The Secret; and I am instantly in that place of joy once again. It is not having what you want that makes you happy, simply because when you get it, there will always be other things you want and don’t have; but it is the knowledge that you have the power to call it forth into your life that makes all the difference. It is the knowledge that you are the artist and you get to paint your own life exactly as you wish that gives you a happiness that is better than the feeling of being in love.
Ask yourself these questions, and take the time to answer them, write down the answers and read them at least once a day:
1. What is my joy?
2. How do I feel (now)?
3. What do I want?
When you put yourself in a state of joy, when you feel happy, generous, and forgiving, and when you know what you want, only then will you get your hearts desires.
Take it from the masters, this is the recipe for success, this is the answer to your questions.
Thursday, 8 May 2008
Anyhu, one of the best days I can remember about my childhood were those that we spent at my late uncle's villa..well, I say villa because I can't really find any other description. It wasn't a country house, it wasn't a summer house, it was a two-storey house with a vegetable garden, a fruit garden, and a front yard..nothing lavish, but God was it cozy. It was my ideal vacation to be there, because my uncle, God rest his soul, wasn't the kind of guy who could spend any vacation with only a few people around him..he had to have the WHOLE family! And the family of the family, and friends of the family! And believe me when i say that we are a B-I-G family so although it wasn't Taj Mahal, it was enough for us all to eat, sleep, run around, play racket, he even had a couple swings and a slide there. Everyone seemed to find something to do there, football, volley ball, speedball, basketball. Basically, all kinds of ball games! The only thing that would have made it heaven is if there was a swimming pool. Oh yes. And mind you, he did speak of it, but the poor guy got ill and passed away before he could do anything about it. Unfortunately, it's sold now, for a few years after he died we stopped going there. It was just too difficult to be there without him sitting at the barbecue or walking in the garden, or doing one of those things that made him who he is. He was the only man I knew who was willing to do anything to be there for everyone, even people he didn't know sometimes. He once travelled from town to town, about a 2 hour drive back and forth just to get me his daughter's (my cousin's) bike because he felt that i was bored and had nothing to do. Who does that? I realize it's probably not the most exciting thing for you to be reading about a dead guy who loved everybody, but I felt that someone this magnificent had to be memorialized in some way. And you don't get many people who are this devoted to helping people out, and personally I've been hugely influenced by this man, and sometimes we don't realize how satisfying it is to help someone out when they really need it until it's been done with us, or until we do it for someone and you see the smile and happiness in their faces. Anyway, I just feel so blessed to have known and had someone this magnificent in my life. I'm so glad he married my aunt, I really don't know how the family would've turned out if these two were'nt meant for each other!
So I just wanted to share that with you guys, I don't know what reminded me now, he's passed away about 5 years ago now. I'm just glad to know he'll always be in my heart :)
On another note, I miss being here, at the blog I mean, I miss writing to you guys. Lately I've been keeping everything I write to myself and it's made me feel lonelier and lonelier.
That's all I've got in me for now..so until I see you next time..remember, a smile is only two cheeks up ;)
Sunday, 30 March 2008
على الطريق المؤدي من الفاتيكان الى الأزهر
إعداد ماري فيتزجيرالد
صورة لإدريس توفيق القس البريطاني سابقاً والداعية إلى الله حاليا
ترجمة أ.د. منى أبو كريشة
أستاذة الأمراض العصبية في كلية الطب جامعة القاهرة
ادريس توفيق، هو كاهن كاثوليكي بريطاني أعتنق الإسلام مؤخراً،. هذه المقاله هي ترجمة للقاء معه على مجلة أيريش تايمز.
ماري فيتزجيرالد أجرت لقاء مطولاً معه وتحدث فيها عن رحلته نحو الهداية واعتناق الإسلام ونحب أن ننقله لكم كما هو للفائدة.
انها القصة التي تجذب الناس لحضور محاضراته في منزله الكائن اليوم في القاهرة وتجذبهم لقراءة عموده في صحيفة محلية باللغة الانجليزيه. وهي تضمن له مشاركة العشرات في المناقشات على الانترنت في المواقع الاسلامية.
الكل يريد ان يعرف عن الرجل البريطاني الذي تحول من كاهن كاثوليكي إلى مسلم ورع، او بعبارة أخرى "من الفاتيكان الى الازهر".
ادريس، هو رجل متواضع يبلغ الاربعين وعدة سنوات، ويفهم لماذا قصته تثير استغراب ملايين ولكن بالنسبة إليه الأمر كان منطقيا جدا ليصبح مسلما.
يقول. أرى حياتي تسير في خط مستقيم، مما يؤدي شيئا فشيئا الى حيث انا اليوم."
ادريس درس الكهنوت في روما. شكوكه حول مهنته أدت به في نهاية المطاف الى مغادرة الكهنوت، مما أدى إلى فترة من عدم اليقين بشأن ما هو الاتجاه الذي سيأخذه في حياته.
وقال انه قرر ان يحصل على إستراحة لبعض الوقت، فحجز رحلة إلى مدينة الغردقة المصرية المطلة على ساحل البحر الاحمر. وعندما شعر بالملل من الشاطئ، اتجه إلى القاهرة وتعرض لصدمة ثقافية مختلفة تماما عن ما كان يتوقع.
لأول مرة في حياته اجتمع وتحدث إلى المسلمين، وراقب عن كثب الطقوس. والاستماع الى الدعوة الى الصلاة والشعب يتوقف عن العمل للصلاة نحو مكة مما ترك انطباعا عميقاً لديه.
يقول عن نفسه:" إن أسبوع الإجازة أثر فيّ أكثر من أي شيء آخر وبدأ يزرع بذور الإسلام في قلبي. كانت هذه هي المرة الأولى كنت قد تحدثت فيها مع المسلمين. رأيت انهم ليسوا متعصبين يقرعون طبول الحرب، كانوا فقط ناس عاديين. اكثر من ذلك، انهم شعب لطيف جداً ويملؤهم الايمان"
إدريس عاد الى بريطانيا حيث عمل استاذاً للدين في احدى المدارس الثانويه. وبعد احداث الحادي عشر من ايلول / سبتمبر دفعته هذه الأحداث إلى معرفة المزيد عن الاسلام.
كما أتيحت له فرصة الاجتماع مع يوسف اسلام، سابقا كات ستيفن، في مسجد لندن المركزي، وكان لقاء محوريا.
يقول:"قلت له ماذا تفعل لتصبح مسلما؟ '، فاجاب انه ينبغي للمسلم ان يعتقد في إله واحد، ويصلي خمس مرات في اليوم ويصوم خلال شهر رمضان. قاطعته قائلا انني كنت أؤمن فعلا بهذا وبل قد صمت مع طلابي المسلمين خلال شهر رمضان.
"حتى سال :' ماذا تنتظر؟ ' قلت له لم اكن انوي التحول.
"في تلك اللحظة أذن المؤذن للصلاة وكان الجميع على استعداد لها وقفت خلف خطوط الصلاة. فجلست أبكي وأبكي، ثم قلت لنفسي،' من تحاول ان تخدع؟ "
عملية التحول إلى الاسلام هو أمر بسيط.، من شأنه - ان يقول المسلم الشهاده أمام الشهود يعترف بوجود اله واحد، هو الله، مع الاقرار بنبوة محمد صلى الله عليه وسلم.
"كثير من المسلمين الجدد يستخدمون كلمة' العودة 'بدلا من تحويل، وذلك لان الاسلام، هو ببساطة' العودة ' إلى الطبيعة الحقيقية للبشرية.
ادريس تحول رسميا إلى الإسلام في مسجد الأزهر، و اتخذ اسم ادريس توفيق -- ادريس، اسم النبي، وتوفيق، وهو في اللغةالعربية تعني حسن الحظ.
"الناس والاحداث دفعتني الى الاسلام"، يقول. "ما جعلني أغادر الكنيسة لم يكن لي اي مشكلة معها.
"اننا نقدس الماضي في الكنيسة، لقد استمتعت بما فعلت، وأنا أحب جميع اولئك الذين تعاونت معهم،. انا فقط لم اكن سعيدا من داخلي."
وعندما سئل عما يراه في الاسلام وتفتقر اليه الكاثوليكيه.
"هذا سؤال مشحون جدا،" يقول، بجدية.
اكبر فرق، اذن؟
"اود ان اقول ان الاسلام يجعل الله محور كل شيء،" يجيب بصورة توضيحية. "انها ليست حول ما فعله يسوع لي انها ليست تقديم صلوات من أجلي. كل شيء يدور حول الله.
"الشيء الآخر هو ان الاسلام يشمل كل جانب من جوانب الحياة. انها ليست الذهاب الى الكنيسة - يوم الاحد -،
"الاسلام يخبرك كيف تحيي الناس، وكيف تأكل الطعام الخاص بك، وكيف ادخل الى غرفة -- كيف نفعل كل شيء في الحياة. بينما المسلمون ليسوا قديسين، والاسلام يشجع المسلمين على التفكير في الله في كل وقت. الاسلام، في جوهره ينسب كل شيء الى الله. بالنسبة للمسلمين، الاسلام هو كل شىء."
وهل التجربه أثارت لديك شكوك في كونك تحولت؟
"لا، لا شيء على الاطلاق،" يجيب. "ورغم ان احد الحواجز لأصبح مسلما كان قصة ابراهيم. يقول الكتاب المقدس ان ابراهيم ضحى بابنه اسحاق، والقرآن يقول انه اسماعيل.
"ربما يبدو غريبا، لكنني تصارعت مع هذا لفترة طويلة. فكرت في ان واحدا منهما يجب ان يكون على خطأ، ولكن في نهاية المطاف، تقبلت ما يقول الاسلام.
"ليس لدي مشكلة مع' انه لا اله الا الله '-- انا كنت دائما أعتقد هذا. ومحمد هو رسوله؟ تعلمت هذا و فهمت جوهره".
"عندما تركت الكنيسة، وتركتها ورائي،" يقول. "انا لا اريد افساد اى شيء يعتقده الناس. إذا كان الناس تسالني عن تحولي سأقول لهم ولكني أترك الامر عند هذا الحد."
وهناك القليل من البيانات المتاحة عن عدد المتحولين الى الاسلام. في الولايات المتحدة 100،000 يتحولون كل سنة. وجد ان مقابل كل رجل يتحول إلى الإسلام، اربع نساء، يحذون حذوه.
اكدت دراسة صدرت حديثا عن يحيى (الذي كان يعرف سابقا جوناثان)، المدير العام السابق لهيئة الاذاعة البريطانية، الى ان هناك الآن 14200 من المتحولين البيض في بريطانيا.
"اعتقد ان الناس الذين يعتنقون الاسلام نرى انهم يتسمون بهدوء وبساطه لم تظهر من قبل،" يقول ادريس. "لا أرى أنه دين جامد، انه مولد للطاقة. الاسلام هو جميل حلو ولطيف.
"وكل القيم التي كانت قائمة في بريطانيا وايرلندا قبل 30 او 40 عاما خلت – مثل احترام والديك، وكبار السن والحكماء – هي ما زالت موجودة في جميع العالم الاسلامي ".
وقد قام بنشر كتاب لغير المسلمين، وشرح تعاليم الاسلام. الاسلام والغرب ينظر كل منهما للآخر بعيون شك وليس هناك حاجة لذلك. ونحن جميعا أناس عاديين مع اختلاف توجهاتنا، "يقول:" غالبية البريد الالكتروني الذي يأتيني من مسلمين وطلاب جامعات شباب ومهتمين اخبروني انهم يحبذون أسلوبي في تقديم ما أعتقده، أقول لهم ولو اننا نصبح قدوات جيدة للمسلمين، الناس في الغرب سيجلسون ويلاحظون. وهذا من شأنه ان يثير اعجابهم. ينبغي لنا كمسلمين أن نحاول اعطاء مثال ممتاز. "
ان احد الامور التي تغيظني كثيرا: هو الكلام عن الصدام بين الحضارات. "لا يوجد صراع الحضارات على الاطلاق، وهذا هراء، لأن الاسلام هو الوطن في اي حضارة،. إذا كنت مسلما في بريطانيا، كنت بريطانيا.
"هذا النقاش في بريطانيا حول ولاء المسلمين، وسواء كان من الممكن ان المسلمين مخلصون لبريطانيا هو مجرد سخف. اعتقد انه في نواح كثيرة مشكلة عنصرية. إذا ذهبت الى لندن، لم يكن احد يسألني عن ولائي لبريطانيا بسبب لون جلدي. السبب إذاً ليس لانهم مسلمون، فالسبب هو انهم الجيل الثاني من الباكستانيين، او البنغاليين او العرب. انه ليس له اي علاقة مع الاسلام. "
يقول. "هناك طرق لتقديم التعاليم الاسلامية في شكل سهل على الناس ومقبول، "
" إسلامي، وإسلام كل مسلم اعرفه في مصر وبريطانيا، هو أن تحاول أن تكون شخصا جيدا كل يوم.
"ولن اخوض للدفاع عن الاسلام لأنه أكثر بكثير مما تفخر به.
على العنوان التالي:
مصر ـ الجيزة ـ 9 شارع حسين أحمد رشيد
P.O.Box 279, Postal Code 12311
كما يمكن زيارة موقعه
تقارير عن "وجوه الاسلام" أيريش تايمز الايرلنديه
Sunday, 17 February 2008
Oh, and wouldn't it make sense for me to start growing up now that I'm four days away from my 21st birthday? Yessir, that's right :D
Sunday, 10 February 2008
Friday, 8 February 2008
I am the one person in the world who is willing to defy the laws of gravity to spread happiness and cheer. I am the person who will give her last breath to seeing a smile on a face. I am the girl who is willing to make a fool of herself to see a child laugh. I am the person whom God chose to give a gift that is very rare and yet quite common. God has given me the gift of giving. I give love, care, food, money, support, advice, encouragement..anything I could get my hands on that will make someone else happy. I derive my own happiness from seeing others happy; they don’t have to be someone I know, and it doesn’t have to have anything to do with me, but as long as I am seeing smiles in the world, I am a happy person. I will dedicate my last breath and last pound to spreading smiles and love. I will give with no return, love with no judgment, and receive the smiles around me graciously and with no burden. To me an unhappy face is yet another cry for help, not a reason for me to give up.
I don’t know why I was made that way, or what is going to become of me in the future..but one thing I am positive about, if I still have it in me to create love, peace, and lots & lots of smiles then there is absolutely nothing wrong with the world except that it needs some more happiness conductors – and world, they are on their way.
Thursday, 7 February 2008
Tuesday, 6 November 2007
When I try to think of what people really want out of life, I find myself lost. Is it only one thing, a single universal goal for all humanity; or are people’s goals as unique and individual as they are. Ultimately, when we find out what people want, we can decode their actions. After all, no one acts out of nothing; there has to be some motive behind that action. Conducting a research like that, to find out people’s goals and moving force in life will probably be quite a shocker. Or not. My guess is that no matter how different people seem to be they will end up being classified into groups. Some people want acceptance, others want respect, some seek God’s love. Many people, I’m sure, will be strongly moved by the Green Stuff, the big bucks. Bloody surprise! It is, however, unfair to judge anyone by their goals, desires, dreams, or actions because all of these are changeables. Sure enough, they define a person and who they are, but nevertheless, no one has the right to cast judgements at anyone else unless they themselves are perfect (which of course is impossible). Now, by judge I strictly mean negatively assessing someone else; and that’s a very awful thing to do, now isn’t it?
I reckon I’ll start asking people from now on what they really want out of life. I must get it out of my system.
Anyhow, when I’m really upset or engrossed in something I can’t sleep at night. I usually make myself something hot to drink (Yes, even in the summer!) and watch TV and/or write and/or stare out the window (providing I have one close enough and at eye level!!) I find those things help me either think about what’s bothering me, or avoid thinking about them (how ironic). One thing I didn’t mention though, is that a lot of the times too, I start pacing slowly around the house, as if I’m taking a little walk in my own imaginary garden. So tonight is one of those times. I’m pacing in the dark, eyes swollen, nose red. The issue on my mind isn’t that huge, but I was misunderstood and haven’t had a chance to explain myself (thanks to someone’s rushed replies and unwillingness to listen), that really gets on my nerves. So I start to think after a few hundred paces “why am I like that? What is it exactly that I’m holding onto so strongly that would get me crying like that after I had one of the most cheerful days ever?” I mean, you have to wonder how you could transform completely from one state of mind to another within a few seconds only because you felt you lost something you hold so dear to you. In my case, as I’m sure you’re probably wondering by now, it was self-reliance and independence. Most of you don’t know me since I was a kid, but as far as I can recall I’ve always wanted to do things on my own. My mum tells me stories on how I would never let her do anything for me and how I’d try to get it on my own first and THEN asking for help if I fail. Not such a bad thing, really, considering the fact that I also love to rely on certain people for certain things when I feel it is right. But I would never let myself get to the stage where I always have to rely to others and can’t get my life sorted out on my own. So really, as independent people go, I’m not so bad. But as an independent kid, teen, and young woman, I so badly need to get it through to my folks that there are certain things that could be done with me that will get me to do everything they want me to do and vice versa. But that’s a different story.
Actually, when you give it a little thought you will come to conclude that most of the arguments that occur between people are not what they seem at all. Most probably what happens to keep those things on fire is that they each strike each other’s chords and touch something that really threatens the other person’s existence so they keep going back and forth trying to prove themselves right. To validate their being. To validate their universe.
So long for now, dad’s home from work and we’re having supper together. Midnight supper.
I am one of those who are,
Who have to see thru a window,
Who cannot see without it too,
But have the insight gizmo.
Not many have it, but many do,
Know how to use it well.
The smallest window that ever was,
Was one that made us see,
And made our lives much better coz
Without it we wouldn’t be,
The ones we are, the ones we’ll be,
The ones who fought and fret,
To see the light
With their insight,
Is all they’ll ever need.
I am one of those who are,
With a window on my nose,
From the second I’m up,
Till I go to bed,
From metal scrap and plastic,
It lives to be my guide,
Through the narrow paths, and the wide ones,
And the ups and downs of life.
I am one of those who are, but why?
I sit and wonder, why are some people like that, why are others not? It’s fair, coz Allah decided it to be so. I shouldn’t complain. I don’t. I only wonder, why is it so? Why am I one of those who are? Is it good for me? Is it bad? Some people are like that, some aren’t, I am one of those who are. It’s not the worst, it could have been worse, it could’ve been totally wrong. I could’ve been totally blind. Why do I complain? I wonder why I am, one of those who are. I don’t complain, I wonder. Is it permanent? Is there a cure? I want an answer. No catch, just an answer. If I could ask for one thing and it would come true, what would I ask for? My sight, no I guess not. I would choose Paradise. Eternal happiness. Then, there is no catch. Eternal happiness, good friends, good husband, good life. They’re all waiting for me in Paradise. Better manners. Patience. Patience. Patience.
I am one of them. Am I happy? Yes. I am very happy. More happy than others. Others are miserable. I am not. I am happy.
Will it go away? I want answers, no catch.
I am one of those who are. Why?
16 years old
It really wasn’t easy growing up as a kid with glasses. Not that I got teased at school or anything (Thank God for that!) but it can get quite annoying to always have something resting on your face. For one thing, you can’t watch tv sleeping on the couch! Well, the day I bought my first pair of contact lens, I came home and looked in the mirror. I told my mom “So that’s what I really look like” It was the first time I could see my face and my eyes just the way they are. It’s probably not very easy for you to imagine what the big deal is if you don’t wear specs. But for all my bespectacled friends out there, you’ll know what I mean. It really is different seeing yourself through glasses and just seeing your face the way it really looks.
Mind you, there are a few up-sides to having weak eyesight; for example, when I take off my glasses and bring something really close up to my face I could see the finest details that wouldn’t be so clear with glasses (because if you bring something really close to your face with glasses on or if you have perfect eyesight, you not only get cross-eyed, but your head hurts too). I know it probably seems like I’m trying to comfort myself by saying that there are good sides to this..well, maybe. So sue me! I’d rather think of all the stupid and incredible things to make myself feel better than to sit around all my life crying and drowning in self-pity like some do. I’m just accepting reality.
Anyhow, being – as I put it – One of Those Who Are, I still believe I’m blessed in more ways than many people around me. And After all, if my test of character isn’t in my faith then who cares! I’m only going to be around for a few decades. And besides, as I always say – it could’ve been worse.
So you’re probably wondering if I’m at so much peace with the issue, why did I decide to write about it? Well, truth be told I sensed from talking with many people that those who are “Not” don’t usually know what it’s really like to “Be” and they take their sight for granted. Oh, AND when they talk about the eye weaknesses they talk about it as if it’s merely a headache – yea right! That’ll make us feel better! Then again, I never like to generalize; I know people who are very sensible in that respect and put others’ feelings into their consideration while talking. May you have perfect eyesight forever for that compassionate gesture.
Have a good look…I mean day ::giggle::
Monday, 5 November 2007
Being a grown-up is being able to tell yourself "I don't REALLY need this new, unbelievably cool phone right now..I guess I could wait a few months" even if you're dying inside and everyone else has it.
Being a grown-up is taking the blame for forgetting to clean out the fish tank causing one of the fish to die, rather than pointing fingers at everyone and trying to weasel your way out of it.
Being a grown-up is having the courage to put yourself behind in favor of the group interest.
Being a grown-up is having the guts to say you're sorry when you've screwed up.
It's not always easy being a grown-up, and it's pretty shitty most of the time but knowing that you reached that level of maturity gives you an incredible sense of power and satisfaction. People could be 50 and 60 years old but have the maturity of a 10 year old. Others could be 20 and 30 and have the maturity of 70.
We all face painful things in our lives, we all cry - even if only in private, but the really mature know how to get their crying over with and start gaining the skills they need to deal with their problems. Because there will always be problems, they may be immediately close to you or far away, they may be yours or others', they may be related to the past, present, or the future. but one thing I know for sure is that they will always be there waiting to give you yet another test of character. It's really up to us whether we pass or not.
Sunday, 4 November 2007
Sunday, 14 October 2007
Anyhow, as you may have noticed in my Bookworm section, I’m reading Danny Wallace’s Yes Man, and as much as I’ve been enjoying the book and writer’s style (to the extent that I sometimes wake up my mom with the sound of my laughing!), I’m finding it a little difficult to completely embrace the details to be learned by the events. However, I picked up the book just a few moments ago, I’m in bed all tucked in and happy and I start to read. I’m not really sure which line I stopped at so I go over a little bit of the page. I come across a paragraph I realize I've already read before, but didn’t give that much attention to, here’s a few sentences (the section in blue is what really inspired me, the rest of the text is just to keep it in context):
I had been genuinely inspired by my short time with Marc. He was someone brave
enough to just let things happen. To roll with the punches. To go where the wind
took him. And he’d changed my attitude, somewhat. I realized, slowly, that I’d been treating Yeses like they were against me. That they were challenges to be overcome. That they were things I could fail. In actual fact, they were just part of life. And if I treated
them like Marc did, they would become life.
It feels quite amazing to me really, because just two days ago I read this same paragraph and I was like those Looney Tunes cartoons where an airplane zips over their head and they stand there like the goofballs they are going "Huuh?" ! I, too, realized that I’ve been such an idiot. I’ve been waiting all my life for someone else to be open-minded so I could be like them. I needed somebody’s approval to say yes to opportunities. I know I said I’m the only one in the family who lives by spontaneity – Uh..Big Lie! Well, maybe in my head I do, that’s what I want to be so much. But most of the time I end up being too afraid of actually going through with the things that I decide to do, I chicken out. I get too scared that something will go wrong, or maybe that I’ll be disappointed. So it’s always been a kind of struggle with me, I want to be one way, but I’m too scared to go through with it and maybe the surrounding atmosphere hasn’t been all the best help in that arena. So anyway, I just realized, after reading that paragraph from the book, that in order to have a life of spontaneity, open-mindedness, and loads of opportunities, The one person that I really need to be like that is ME. Everyone knows you can’t fill up a closed bottle with water, and by saying no to every opportunity I’m just tightening the lid on my bottle. It’s like taking the antenna off your radio and then cursing it for not receiving any channels! So it was incredibly inspiring to me when I discovered that I can do something about it and not just wait for someone else to come and scoop me off the land of No-No. It’s quite simple really, if you spend just a week being more open to opportunities then they Will come your way. And of all the chances that get thrown at you, one is bound to be something you’ve been waiting for.
Life is Good. Live it right and it will help you.
Tuesday, 2 October 2007
Everytime I start thinking about what I’d love to do with my life, I end up not wanting to do anything at all. I start off with the usual write-down-my-skills-fiasco, and then all hell breaks loose. I want to be this, I want to do that. Suddenly I’m the world’s best designer, cook, restaurant owner, blah blah. It’s thought and time consuming. Not to mention that in the crazy twist of things, I realize it will take me ages before I actually Become any of these things. Maybe I should work freelance. I never really liked the idea of working steady (yes, that too is a long story) so I was kind of not thinking of getting involved in anything at the moment. However, the idea of working from home or working freelance may just be the thing for me.
This just in: Does spending your evenings on your living room couch with your laptop in your lap thinking of where your life is headed actually make you a grown-up? I’m going to be writing a lot about this whole grown-up business those days. It is, after all, the story of my life now. I hear that this is the time you should be starting to think of growing up.
Behold people, I shall soon become a…uh…Big Girl :)
My profound interest in putting effort and thought (and money!) into buying and giving a gift is probably a result of something my parents always did with me. They know that I’ve always LOVED surprises, I love them in all shapes and sizes. So whenever there was a special day for me (birthday, graduation, just-being-a-good-girl, whatever it was) they would make sure to put all their cards and gifts on my dresser before I woke up and they knew that the first thing I would do when I wake up is put my specs on and look at that blessed spot! One day, I woke up, it was my birthday, I looked…and my worst nightmare came true..There Was NOTHING! Can you believe it?! It was heartbreaking! And the worst thing is, I have to go out there and act normal! Well, to my pleasant surprise, I realised later on that they wanted to make a little change, and they waited until I got up, went into the bathroom, quickly put all the stuff in there as if it was always there, and continued with their lives as though nothing in the world has changed! Now THAT was a pleasant surprise. And to be honest, it kind of rekindled the element of novelty in the whole parade. I have to say, if there was one thing I learned from my mother, it was to put all your heart and mind into any gift you give to someone. Thanks mom, that is the best gift you could ever give me J
Does anyone else find it strange that the two people (man & woman) whom God created to be each other’s comfort and safety are the two who have declared the biggest war yet over each other? Seriously, whatever happened to sympathy, empathy, and understanding? Whatever happened to unconditional love between people, to selfless giving and caring? Has everyone become so obsessed and blinded by their selfish love for themselves that they cannot see beyond their own desires and benefits? Does dignity and self-respect mean that people are too proud and arrogant to say “I’m sorry”, “Thank You”, or a truthful “I Love You”? Is that how we really want to live? By seeing that every bad thing or every obstacle is someone else’s fault? Our parents, siblings, peers, teachers, kids..it’s always someone else, isn’t it? Not one time does anyone have enough courage to be the man and say “you know what, never mind who’s fault it is, what matters is that we fix the damage” Is it all of a sudden that everyone just Has To Be Right all the time? I want one true human being to look themselves in the mirror and say out loud that they CAN take the blame when they should, or that they give an apology when it’s due. I won’t claim to be perfect, I’m too arrogant myself sometimes to admit I’m wrong. Sometimes I just won’t take it, especially in front of my parents. Don’t really know why I do that, but I do admit it. I hate it, and it’s one of the things on my list that I’m working on. God help me.
You know what guys? Sitting around mourning what we have come to isn’t really going to get us anywhere..i say we just do something about it, eh? I say we all promise ourselves right now, just to yourself, no one is hearing or judging. Just promise yourself that the next time you find yourself about to start blaming the world for your screw ups, that you’ll stop and do something about it. Stop and Fix The Damage. And the next time you find a normal conversation escalating into an argument, you will be the bigger man and say “our friendship is bigger than that” or “it doesn’t matter who’s fault it is, it’s not the end of the world”. Let us all start to Be The Bigger Man.
Wednesday, 26 September 2007
I think of why I am the way I am, why certain circumstances and situations shaped me in one particular way rather than another. I sometimes find answers..but not as often as I would like.
I think of the world and what causes it to become the way it is. I get sad. But I live with it. When it comes to other people or the way other things affect me, I can understand. I can deal with it. But when it is something about me, a truth or fact that I just cannot fathom; I cannot rest until I figure it out.
I wonder about what will happen in the future and how it will shape my personality. I wonder whether my future will turn out the way I imagine it..or is it destined to be the complete opposite.
I dream about being a rich restaurant owner who uses her money to improve the world..or at least her neighbourhood. I dream about owning a chocolate factory and being the first and best Arab and Muslim chocolate manufacturer. I dream about being one of the people who change the World’s view of Islam, and do what should be done, be a true Muslim through my actions and manners, not by bombing up innocent people. I dream about being the best role model for the people I know. I dream about influencing everyone I know in one way or another..in a positive way of course. I dream about mastering 7 different languages and using them to fulfill my other goals. I dream about living in a beautiful two storey house with a huge garden and a great pool. I dream about having an honest and open relationship with my husband and kissing him goodbye everyday before he leaves to work. I dream about having 4 adorable children whom I will raise to become the best role model they can be. I left out my health in all my dreams. For some reason, I just thought it would be there. But how am I to know? I might have all of the above, but not have the health to enjoy it. No one has everything, not even if your intention is correct and your goal is pleasing God. It’s just not right. It would not be fair to some people if others could just have everything while they have nothing, or close to nothing. One thing I am grateful for, I am not the one to choose which to give up.
Or in other words judging a person or situation without truly knowing all its aspects. I don’t believe in first impressions, or second, or third for that matter. A true impression can only be taken when there’s interaction with that person many times, and he is seen in different situations.
But what if you need to know what someone is truly like, but you’re not close enough to see them through these conditions?
Hmm..there’s something for me to ponder about…
I have this strategy, truth be told I’m not quite sure if it’s any good, but nevertheless I follow it. I reach a point where I say ok, I’ve been pushing myself so hard, I’ve been working a lot. Now I take time off. I give myself the time to relax. For some reason my ‘time off’ seems to always magically stretch! Now it’s a day, then it’s another day. A week. A month. Two months. A year. Believe me, it could stretch up to that sometimes. And the more it does the worse it gets. It becomes this endless cycle and it’s like Groundhog day all over again. Usually, I fight so hard when I’m in one of those cycles. I fight my parents, family, friends, nature, the world. I’m in complete and utter denial over the status I’ve reached. I keep telling myself that I haven’t been like that all that long. I’m just taking a break from blah blah. I need this, I’ve been pushing so hard. Two words: Bull Shit! I once heard this line in the Pink Panther movie, the very last one where Inspector Clousau disappears. This guy (whose name I forgot) tells the reporter who is investigating the disappearance: Never bullshit a bullshitter. Well, exactly, the dude got it just right. If you’re going to stand there with one pocket hanging out and your hair looking like you’ve been mopping the kitchen floor with it and tell me all the lame excuses that I use to give myself the comforting feeling that “I’m still ok” then you could do one of two things: a) keep living that way, or b) get off your behind and actually do something about it!
Ok, maybe that was a little hostile. But hey, you know I still love you, right? Well, I wouldn’t be doing that if I didn’t. Now smile for me, I can’t bear to see you sad. There you go, that’s a very beautiful smile.
Sunday, 16 September 2007
Well, just moments ago i heard someone (who shall remain nameless) in the next room saying that they're afraid that i'll get fat. Now, anyone knows you should NEVER say such a thing about a girl!! And even more when she isn't fat at all!!! When it comes to weight, other than those noodle-waist girls, most of us fluctuate. Thank God I fluctuate within invisible range!! I know i never was fat, i know i'm not fat, and i'm determined never to be fat. Nevertheless, when a guy said it to me straight on; he was like "you know, you shouldn't be eating that, you need to be losing weight", and i was thinking "where is that crane that had such a painfully looking hook?! Oh yea, over there..go play with it honey, it's a nice toy!!! I mean, REALLY! It took more than that to crush me tho..it took two more jer--uh--guys to really blow me out! And as i said, i know i'm not fat, but it kinda makes you wonder...is this really how the world sees me?! Oh what the hell, go hassle someone else!
Anyhow, when you've had a not-so-pleasant experience with something, and someone so close to you just keeps rubbing it in your face..it HURTS! You want to scream out I'VE HEARD ENOUGH CRAP ABOUT THIS I DON'T NEED IT FROM YOU! you expect the people closest to you to at least not put more gas to the fire. Jeez!
So i was about to storm into the room and scream my head off about how upset and hurt i am and how inconsiderate this is, when i just found myself sort of in a trance, with the sweet image in my head of ''what if i don't do it?'' what if i just give myself a few minutes to cool down, deal with this, don't be like a blob of potassium in a tub of water (one of my fav. experiments in IG Chemistry btw). It is ok. It is absolutely fine. And hey, if i'm so damn sure of body, what the heck does it matter what others say! HA! RIGHT IN YOUR FACE!!
It somehow gives you a sense of strength and power. You were able to hear something about yourself that completely set the fireworks off in your head, but you didn't just react like a lab monkey and went off on everyone. It so cool!