Sometimes we meet someone or see someone at a distance, and that person seems...different..for no apparent reason you just find yourself remembering that person often and wondering where they are, or who they are..but no matter how hard you try, their face is just carved in your memory for good. Was it something they did..was it the way they did it? You don't know..but you still find yourself thinking of them.
When that happens..do you ever get to meet them again? and this time actually talk with them?
What would you say?
Tuesday 27 March 2007
I've Learned..
Throughout my life, I've learned many many things. Sometimes I appreciate everything I've learned..and sometimes I feel that the sky is falling.
I've learned that the fear of the unknown is one common type of fear that all humans share.
I've learned that it's ok to give yourself a break every once in a while and go against routine and guidelines.
I've learned that the best way to learn how to forgive, is by getting hurt...
I've learned that the best way to live is to be YOU.
I've learned that it's ok when people do stupid things that upset or hurt you..because you've done it too
I've discovered that the best way to learn is by observing
I've come to realize that the more you want something, the longer it will take for you to have it..
I've learned that laughter IS the best medicine
and I've decided that when I get a chance to laugh out loud and forget the whole world..I shouldn't stop myself
I've always believed that friends are so important..make some because you'll need them one day
I've discovered that even if I don't have a bestfriend, or at least a close friend..that I should have a good relationship with EVERYONE I know.
I know that extremism is a foolish way to live.
I've come to believe that getting deeply hurt...is something no one should take lightly, it's important, it matters.
I've discovered that lonliness can drive you crazy, and can push you to weird thoughts and feelings
I've discovered that you can be lonely even if you're surrounded by millions of people who love you. Yes, you can.
I've learned that doing someone a favour is a great thing. But making them feel that it was a favour just takes away the greatness of it.
I've discovered that reading can sometimes be a great way to relieve stress..and so can writing.
Everyone has a story in their life. Everyone. Young and old. Poor and rich. Strong and weak. They all have a story, they all live for something.
I've noticed that the most peaceful time of the day, is when everyone has gone to bed at night and you're all alone in a room lit by a small lamp on your bedside table. It feels good.
I've discovered that for some people, a smile that you give them on your way could change their life for the better. And you thought it was only a smile.
Is it possible for someone to be lonely for the rest of their lives? I wonder..
I've discovered that the way people see you everyday is not close to how you really feel or think inside.
I've learned that we don't only do things because we "want" to, or because we "like" doing them.
I've always believed that perfection only leads to misery. Excellence, on the other hand, is a beautiful concept.
I've discovered that the conflicts we have and the differences that we can't stand in each other, are the most amazing spice of life.
I've learned, discovered, realized..and I have yet to learn.
But will I always..
will I?
I wonder. I really do.
I've learned that the fear of the unknown is one common type of fear that all humans share.
I've learned that it's ok to give yourself a break every once in a while and go against routine and guidelines.
I've learned that the best way to learn how to forgive, is by getting hurt...
I've learned that the best way to live is to be YOU.
I've learned that it's ok when people do stupid things that upset or hurt you..because you've done it too
I've discovered that the best way to learn is by observing
I've come to realize that the more you want something, the longer it will take for you to have it..
I've learned that laughter IS the best medicine
and I've decided that when I get a chance to laugh out loud and forget the whole world..I shouldn't stop myself
I've always believed that friends are so important..make some because you'll need them one day
I've discovered that even if I don't have a bestfriend, or at least a close friend..that I should have a good relationship with EVERYONE I know.
I know that extremism is a foolish way to live.
I've come to believe that getting deeply hurt...is something no one should take lightly, it's important, it matters.
I've discovered that lonliness can drive you crazy, and can push you to weird thoughts and feelings
I've discovered that you can be lonely even if you're surrounded by millions of people who love you. Yes, you can.
I've learned that doing someone a favour is a great thing. But making them feel that it was a favour just takes away the greatness of it.
I've discovered that reading can sometimes be a great way to relieve stress..and so can writing.
Everyone has a story in their life. Everyone. Young and old. Poor and rich. Strong and weak. They all have a story, they all live for something.
I've noticed that the most peaceful time of the day, is when everyone has gone to bed at night and you're all alone in a room lit by a small lamp on your bedside table. It feels good.
I've discovered that for some people, a smile that you give them on your way could change their life for the better. And you thought it was only a smile.
Is it possible for someone to be lonely for the rest of their lives? I wonder..
I've discovered that the way people see you everyday is not close to how you really feel or think inside.
I've learned that we don't only do things because we "want" to, or because we "like" doing them.
I've always believed that perfection only leads to misery. Excellence, on the other hand, is a beautiful concept.
I've discovered that the conflicts we have and the differences that we can't stand in each other, are the most amazing spice of life.
I've learned, discovered, realized..and I have yet to learn.
But will I always..
will I?
I wonder. I really do.
Sunday 25 March 2007
Happiness Vs. Satisfaction
Hello people..
You know, i was looking through my stuff, and found an old notebook i used to carry around everywhere and write or doodle anything that came up in my mind. I discovered a lot of things about myself looking through that notebook..but most importantly, i found an entry i had wrote while on a plane. I was travelling from Egypt to spend the summer vacation in Kuwait. It's amazing what you write and then totally forget about! Anyway, so this entry was about happiness, what the true meaning of happiness was. In this post, I'll type up what I had wrote back then, and then I'll write a similar piece of text I had written several days ago as a comment to a friend's post here on Blogger.
In the notebook, I wrote..
"In so many different languages, in so many words..philosophers, thinkers and believers have tried to define happiness..However..could there really be a true, particular, defined meaning of happiness? Happiness is such a broad word, so vague..it has a different meaning to everyone. a special, personal meaning..
For one, happiness is being with their loved one, to another it may mean succeeding in everything and being superior to everyone..some think of happiness as a fairy tale..non-existent. i suppose only pessimists think that way..is anyone truly happy? Did anyone find the magic potion of happiness? I guess only fools would be looking for something like that..Happiness is right under everybody's noses..they are just too blinded by materialistic thoughts and desires to see it. Those who have wealth think they can buy happiness with their wealth, and those who don't mourn their luck and call life unfair...
Happiness is in love, forgiveness, hope, faith, belief in oneself and in others. It means giving second chances and smiling to people on your way. It means starting all over again and bouncing back up when you fall..it means giving before taking and fulfilling before expecting. It is thinking of others before yourself and loving unconditionally..is that what happiness is? is that what it means? I think this works for everyone..so there could be a definition for happiness after all..I guess.."
When I compared that what I wrote these days, i noticed a noticeable difference in thinking and style. I really enjoyed the comparison and hope you do to. Note that the first entry was writted when i was about 17 or 18. This new one I wrote and I'm now 20.
Here goes..
"you know what, i've been thinking about what you said about people just putting on a happy face in public. i've been thinking about that for years and as i always do, i observe everything that happens around me. I guess i've been searching for the meaning of "sincere happiness" for a looong time.personally, when i've got a problem or issue on my mind, i can't hide it. i'm the kind of person who's feelings are written on her forehead. you could say i wear my heart on my sleeve. That's a good thing, because when i'm excited or expressing joy, people know it's authentic. however, when i'm preoccupied and really thinking of something, sometimes when i just walk through the university gate and see my friends i'm like a totally different person. i like temporarily forget about all my worries when i'm with them. maybe i subconciously do that for the sake of not being a drag, you know, it's not their problem to deal with, and if im not willing to share it, what's the point in telling them "oh no, i'm fine, nothing's wrong" and walk around like i just lost my bestfriend! i only like really can't hide it when it's huge and i've reached my limit. i don't snap out or anything, but i walk around looking like someone died. and it shows because i'm usually a cheerful, laughing person so ppl could tell a mile away!so anywayz..i, too, am in search for happiness..for many years i've felt like something was missing in my heart. i've got, alhamdulelah (that is Thank God in Arabic), the family, the friends, the faith, and my self-respect..but there was just this sth that i would, for a second or two, even within the most crowded of groups or gatherings, i would just back away mentally and ask myself "what is it? it's like something should be there that isn't" i still cannot find that thing..at times though, when i would be really peaceful and tranquil internally, i would feel that what the whole human race is looking for, which is happiness, really lies before our eyes..it's difficult to achieve in the beginning, but once u start, Allah (that is the word for God in Arabic) guides you the rest of the way. What is it then? It's satisfaction. to be satisfied with Allah and what he has given us. That is like flipping a switch that will in turn make you satisfied with your life, your self, family, situation, friends, and even the hardships. and as we know, the hadeeth says: "man radeya fa laho al reda" Which basically means: he who will try to become satisfied, I will give him the gift of satisfaction (or being satisfied with what you have). Another hadeeth says: "man radeya beqadary a3taytoho 3ala qadry". Meaning that if you are satisfied with Allah's fate for you, he will in turn give you with his own measure --implying here Allah's measure of kindness, and i need not speak of that (NB. These are not translations of the hadeeths, they are only explanations). I guess the thing is with humanity, it's been looking in the wrong direction all of that time. Bottom line is: If you're looking, look for how become a satisfied person, not a happy one. I'm guessing happiness is only meant for us in heaven.If I were to elaborate on that, i'd say that satisfaction requires effort to reach (which could be a way for Allah to tell us, people, nothing comes easy in this life). however, happiness does not require effort, it's something that we're always looking for in things that are outside of our circle of control. we look for it in money, possessions, friends, relationships, love..the usual. but if you try to say, i'm looking for satisfaction in money, you're bound to find that if you want satisfaction in any of the above mentioned, you will have to work at it. you will have to think of all the blessings that you're granted and sincerely appreciate them, you'll have to look at the less fortunate and thank the lord, you'll have to imagine ur life without just one of those blessings to realize that you're the luckiest person alive. when you get the taste of satisfaction once, believe me, you'll crave it everytime it goes, and you'll crave it so bad that if you really turn to Allah, and asked him for the right direction, he will lead you right to it. you will find yourself willing and glad to exert whatever effort it takes to feel the satisfaction again.ok! that was long, but it was an inspiration that Allah just gave me right now, i had to write it before it went away.Thank God i did."
Although the age difference between the two times I've written isn't that huge, but i could certainly trace some differences and similarities. I've been through a great deal since the time I wrote the first entry..a great deal that has taught me most of the things I've learned about life so far. Yeah..I guess you could say I've had an epiphany during that time...a very long epiphany!
That's all I've got to say for now..gotta go do some stuff for my graduation project :-s
but people..I would certainly love to hear any thoughts you have on this topic. No matter how short or long, I'd love to hear it so please send me any comments you feel like you want to share.
Toodles..
You know, i was looking through my stuff, and found an old notebook i used to carry around everywhere and write or doodle anything that came up in my mind. I discovered a lot of things about myself looking through that notebook..but most importantly, i found an entry i had wrote while on a plane. I was travelling from Egypt to spend the summer vacation in Kuwait. It's amazing what you write and then totally forget about! Anyway, so this entry was about happiness, what the true meaning of happiness was. In this post, I'll type up what I had wrote back then, and then I'll write a similar piece of text I had written several days ago as a comment to a friend's post here on Blogger.
In the notebook, I wrote..
"In so many different languages, in so many words..philosophers, thinkers and believers have tried to define happiness..However..could there really be a true, particular, defined meaning of happiness? Happiness is such a broad word, so vague..it has a different meaning to everyone. a special, personal meaning..
For one, happiness is being with their loved one, to another it may mean succeeding in everything and being superior to everyone..some think of happiness as a fairy tale..non-existent. i suppose only pessimists think that way..is anyone truly happy? Did anyone find the magic potion of happiness? I guess only fools would be looking for something like that..Happiness is right under everybody's noses..they are just too blinded by materialistic thoughts and desires to see it. Those who have wealth think they can buy happiness with their wealth, and those who don't mourn their luck and call life unfair...
Happiness is in love, forgiveness, hope, faith, belief in oneself and in others. It means giving second chances and smiling to people on your way. It means starting all over again and bouncing back up when you fall..it means giving before taking and fulfilling before expecting. It is thinking of others before yourself and loving unconditionally..is that what happiness is? is that what it means? I think this works for everyone..so there could be a definition for happiness after all..I guess.."
When I compared that what I wrote these days, i noticed a noticeable difference in thinking and style. I really enjoyed the comparison and hope you do to. Note that the first entry was writted when i was about 17 or 18. This new one I wrote and I'm now 20.
Here goes..
"you know what, i've been thinking about what you said about people just putting on a happy face in public. i've been thinking about that for years and as i always do, i observe everything that happens around me. I guess i've been searching for the meaning of "sincere happiness" for a looong time.personally, when i've got a problem or issue on my mind, i can't hide it. i'm the kind of person who's feelings are written on her forehead. you could say i wear my heart on my sleeve. That's a good thing, because when i'm excited or expressing joy, people know it's authentic. however, when i'm preoccupied and really thinking of something, sometimes when i just walk through the university gate and see my friends i'm like a totally different person. i like temporarily forget about all my worries when i'm with them. maybe i subconciously do that for the sake of not being a drag, you know, it's not their problem to deal with, and if im not willing to share it, what's the point in telling them "oh no, i'm fine, nothing's wrong" and walk around like i just lost my bestfriend! i only like really can't hide it when it's huge and i've reached my limit. i don't snap out or anything, but i walk around looking like someone died. and it shows because i'm usually a cheerful, laughing person so ppl could tell a mile away!so anywayz..i, too, am in search for happiness..for many years i've felt like something was missing in my heart. i've got, alhamdulelah (that is Thank God in Arabic), the family, the friends, the faith, and my self-respect..but there was just this sth that i would, for a second or two, even within the most crowded of groups or gatherings, i would just back away mentally and ask myself "what is it? it's like something should be there that isn't" i still cannot find that thing..at times though, when i would be really peaceful and tranquil internally, i would feel that what the whole human race is looking for, which is happiness, really lies before our eyes..it's difficult to achieve in the beginning, but once u start, Allah (that is the word for God in Arabic) guides you the rest of the way. What is it then? It's satisfaction. to be satisfied with Allah and what he has given us. That is like flipping a switch that will in turn make you satisfied with your life, your self, family, situation, friends, and even the hardships. and as we know, the hadeeth says: "man radeya fa laho al reda" Which basically means: he who will try to become satisfied, I will give him the gift of satisfaction (or being satisfied with what you have). Another hadeeth says: "man radeya beqadary a3taytoho 3ala qadry". Meaning that if you are satisfied with Allah's fate for you, he will in turn give you with his own measure --implying here Allah's measure of kindness, and i need not speak of that (NB. These are not translations of the hadeeths, they are only explanations). I guess the thing is with humanity, it's been looking in the wrong direction all of that time. Bottom line is: If you're looking, look for how become a satisfied person, not a happy one. I'm guessing happiness is only meant for us in heaven.If I were to elaborate on that, i'd say that satisfaction requires effort to reach (which could be a way for Allah to tell us, people, nothing comes easy in this life). however, happiness does not require effort, it's something that we're always looking for in things that are outside of our circle of control. we look for it in money, possessions, friends, relationships, love..the usual. but if you try to say, i'm looking for satisfaction in money, you're bound to find that if you want satisfaction in any of the above mentioned, you will have to work at it. you will have to think of all the blessings that you're granted and sincerely appreciate them, you'll have to look at the less fortunate and thank the lord, you'll have to imagine ur life without just one of those blessings to realize that you're the luckiest person alive. when you get the taste of satisfaction once, believe me, you'll crave it everytime it goes, and you'll crave it so bad that if you really turn to Allah, and asked him for the right direction, he will lead you right to it. you will find yourself willing and glad to exert whatever effort it takes to feel the satisfaction again.ok! that was long, but it was an inspiration that Allah just gave me right now, i had to write it before it went away.Thank God i did."
Although the age difference between the two times I've written isn't that huge, but i could certainly trace some differences and similarities. I've been through a great deal since the time I wrote the first entry..a great deal that has taught me most of the things I've learned about life so far. Yeah..I guess you could say I've had an epiphany during that time...a very long epiphany!
That's all I've got to say for now..gotta go do some stuff for my graduation project :-s
but people..I would certainly love to hear any thoughts you have on this topic. No matter how short or long, I'd love to hear it so please send me any comments you feel like you want to share.
Toodles..
Thursday 22 March 2007
Red Light!
Hey ppl, i took this shot in the dark room of our university. Since i'm taking this photography class, we have to learn how to develop the photos and all, which is so cool. This was my first time in a dark room, and the moment all the safe light bulbs(the red light) came on, it had an awesome effect in the darkness. i took another photo of the whole room, but i don't really like it so i'll wait till i take a better one and i'll post it on here. i just posted this one for now, i really liked this tiny bulb in the darkness ;) enjoy..
Tuesday 20 March 2007
Superficiality: Parenting or Personality?
you know..it strikes me how some people could be so damn superficial. Have you ever had a friend or colleague who's just so superficial it made you laugh?! Well..i do, and i don't know whether i should laugh, or slap the dude ::roll eyes::
I have a colleague in university, he falls in the category of people who i just shared one or two classes with throughout the whole eight semesters. We bumped into each other at the beginning of this semester and exchanged the usual 'hi, how are ya' kinda thing. Incidentally, this semester I've started wearing my glasses again (I'd been wearing contacts for the last 2 1/2 years), so this was the first time he'd see me in glasses. Now, i know i don't look bad in glasses. i used to believe that before (but i won't get into that now, it's a loong story). So after the hi's and all, this guy stared at me in shock (literally) and was like "oh my God, Lubna, WHY are you wearing glasses?" I gave a little lopsided smile and something that sounded like a smoking engine and told him "well, I just got tired of wearing contacts, and my eyes started irritating me" but as if the open-mouth gape he gave me wasn't enough, he said "NO...No, wear your contacts, don't wear your glasses anymore" (OUCH!) ok dude, i just told u my eyes aren't well, WHAT are you talking about? Gosh..anywayz, so since i was expecting this reaction from some people, i acted normal and just told him "why? my eyes became very sensitive from wearing them too much, and besides, i'm not at a fashion show, this is university. who cares?" would he get the hint and SHUT UP?? ooooh no, not this dude! he went on as if i've been standing there silent for the past 10 minutes "but you look so much better with your contacts (ie. without glasses), please, don't wear your glasses anymore" OH MY GOD! could i slap you or what?! That's when i stopped smiling and just turned to the cashier guy, just like that. i mean, umm, excuse me: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO EVEN HAVE AN OPINION IN THE WAY I LOOK? i could look like a monkey for all i care and i wouldn't even want to know what he thinks. of course i didn't tell him that last part..but i sure was thinking it. the conversation went on like that till i told him "c'mon i'm telling you my health is in danger, what more do u want?" he was still insisting that i look so much better without the glasses. ::BIG roll eyes:: finally..just before i walked away, i told him "Well, you know what, if you don't like the way i look, don't look at me!!" That was as nice as i could put it. oh for the number of things i had in my head to say to him! ANYWAY! the best thing was watching his face drop when i said that!! You deserve it baby! Oh yeah..
Can you believe that guy? now is that superficiality in the flesh or what?
i mean he's not my friend, he's not my fiance, he's not my husband, he doesn't even like me..why the hell would he care how i look..besides, i DON'T EVEN LOOK BAD!
whatever, so besides that dude getting on my nerves for like a split second, this incident got me thinking; it made me realize how some people only deal with people who fulfill a certain standard of beauty. and amazingly, the moment this person's friends are no longer beautiful (or at least he/she think so) for some reason, this person could just walk by them like they don't even know their name.
This made me wonder..what makes one person so superficial and another so deep. I said to myself, it's got to be the parenting, a child grows up, sees that his parent(s) give so much attention to appearances the kid is bound to end up thinking that way, and vice versa. But wait a minute, how about if two siblings, grew up in the same house, with the same parents and circumstances, and one turned out one way and the other turned out the complete opposite. Well...i was discussing this with a friend of mine, and it didn't take us long to figure out a possible solution or reason for that; she said that it's probably the person's willingness to become that way, then i said but the parenting must have some hand in that - they either encourage that side or dicourage it in their child. So the final result of that conversation was: it's both. The two factors contribute to making a person grow up to be superficial or not: The parents, and the childs willingness.
But i have a feeling that this isn't all..say for example, that a child has the willingness, and his parents encourage him (to become superficial), and then throughout the course of that child's (now an adult) life something happens to him that makes him see things differently, so he knows that this is something bad, and decides to change his view of things. There you have the two factors, but still and unsuperficial person. Does this mean we have a third factor now? Life's Circumstances? Hmm..perhaps..
Does anyone else think about this? If you do, I'd love to hear your thoughts on that issue, perhaps i'd learn something new from you :)
toodles..
I have a colleague in university, he falls in the category of people who i just shared one or two classes with throughout the whole eight semesters. We bumped into each other at the beginning of this semester and exchanged the usual 'hi, how are ya' kinda thing. Incidentally, this semester I've started wearing my glasses again (I'd been wearing contacts for the last 2 1/2 years), so this was the first time he'd see me in glasses. Now, i know i don't look bad in glasses. i used to believe that before (but i won't get into that now, it's a loong story). So after the hi's and all, this guy stared at me in shock (literally) and was like "oh my God, Lubna, WHY are you wearing glasses?" I gave a little lopsided smile and something that sounded like a smoking engine and told him "well, I just got tired of wearing contacts, and my eyes started irritating me" but as if the open-mouth gape he gave me wasn't enough, he said "NO...No, wear your contacts, don't wear your glasses anymore" (OUCH!) ok dude, i just told u my eyes aren't well, WHAT are you talking about? Gosh..anywayz, so since i was expecting this reaction from some people, i acted normal and just told him "why? my eyes became very sensitive from wearing them too much, and besides, i'm not at a fashion show, this is university. who cares?" would he get the hint and SHUT UP?? ooooh no, not this dude! he went on as if i've been standing there silent for the past 10 minutes "but you look so much better with your contacts (ie. without glasses), please, don't wear your glasses anymore" OH MY GOD! could i slap you or what?! That's when i stopped smiling and just turned to the cashier guy, just like that. i mean, umm, excuse me: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO EVEN HAVE AN OPINION IN THE WAY I LOOK? i could look like a monkey for all i care and i wouldn't even want to know what he thinks. of course i didn't tell him that last part..but i sure was thinking it. the conversation went on like that till i told him "c'mon i'm telling you my health is in danger, what more do u want?" he was still insisting that i look so much better without the glasses. ::BIG roll eyes:: finally..just before i walked away, i told him "Well, you know what, if you don't like the way i look, don't look at me!!" That was as nice as i could put it. oh for the number of things i had in my head to say to him! ANYWAY! the best thing was watching his face drop when i said that!! You deserve it baby! Oh yeah..
Can you believe that guy? now is that superficiality in the flesh or what?
i mean he's not my friend, he's not my fiance, he's not my husband, he doesn't even like me..why the hell would he care how i look..besides, i DON'T EVEN LOOK BAD!
whatever, so besides that dude getting on my nerves for like a split second, this incident got me thinking; it made me realize how some people only deal with people who fulfill a certain standard of beauty. and amazingly, the moment this person's friends are no longer beautiful (or at least he/she think so) for some reason, this person could just walk by them like they don't even know their name.
This made me wonder..what makes one person so superficial and another so deep. I said to myself, it's got to be the parenting, a child grows up, sees that his parent(s) give so much attention to appearances the kid is bound to end up thinking that way, and vice versa. But wait a minute, how about if two siblings, grew up in the same house, with the same parents and circumstances, and one turned out one way and the other turned out the complete opposite. Well...i was discussing this with a friend of mine, and it didn't take us long to figure out a possible solution or reason for that; she said that it's probably the person's willingness to become that way, then i said but the parenting must have some hand in that - they either encourage that side or dicourage it in their child. So the final result of that conversation was: it's both. The two factors contribute to making a person grow up to be superficial or not: The parents, and the childs willingness.
But i have a feeling that this isn't all..say for example, that a child has the willingness, and his parents encourage him (to become superficial), and then throughout the course of that child's (now an adult) life something happens to him that makes him see things differently, so he knows that this is something bad, and decides to change his view of things. There you have the two factors, but still and unsuperficial person. Does this mean we have a third factor now? Life's Circumstances? Hmm..perhaps..
Does anyone else think about this? If you do, I'd love to hear your thoughts on that issue, perhaps i'd learn something new from you :)
toodles..
Friday 2 March 2007
Photography...My Life
ok, i got this totally hot camera and i'm really excited about it. i just can't live without photography..it takes me to another world, makes me forget all my worries. i've been snapping around everywhere..i'll post some here for you to see.i think i might become a pro photographer one day..hmm...i'd like to think about that.
I'm a BIG girl now! :)
Gosh! It's been such a looong time since i last wrote here. It feels bad to just stay away from something you love and enjoy so much because you get too busy. But nevermind, i'm here now :)
This period of time that i've been away has been soo full of...things! they're not really events in the sense, but they're things.
here's how...
For starters, Wednesday 21st February was my 20th birthday. That was the BEST thing that happened to me this year. Not because it's my birthday, but because it's the marker of my launch into a new stage of my life, a new decade that will be so completely different than all the others. i've been doing a lot of thinking and contemplating and pondering on my life and those of the people around me, i've watched myself act and react, love and be loved, cry, laugh, feel lonely, feel like i'm the luckiest girl in the world..all at different times, and in some cases, all at the same time! I'm a person who observes very closely. I observe everything that goes on inside me and out. I try to learn from everything, from a situation in the street, from animals, movies, babies, friends..everything. i truly believe that God puts a lesson in everything that happens. One of the most critical things i've been observing in myself these past few years, has been my intellectual maturity. I'll have to admit (and that's not out of pride) that i've never been an empty or airheaded person. So in the past 3-4 years, i've noticed how my reactions and thoughts differ and grow over time, i was very glad about that, i knew this is what maturing and preparing for a new stage in life is. That was, however, something that happened at the back of my head, like a process that never stops, but isn't totally developed yet and so can't fully function. i've made a ton of mistakes in my life, especially those past 3 years, i've been out of one drop into the other. As i always like to do, i'll try to make an analogy for the way i felt..i think the closest thing that describes my state was like someone who's been drunk or drugged for the past 3 years and finally became sober and started realizing what the hell is going on. i know it's not a very pretty image here, but i also know that this is the way i felt.
Now that i look back on all the things that have been going on in my life those past years, i can pinpoint the things i've done wrong and could trace them to certain things ( meaning i could see where they led me to something else). This is such a blessing and a wonderful gift from God.
People..i have learned the one basic truth about people: They will only love you if God is satisfied with your deeds. ok i know that may sound wierd..but you know what. i'm not asking anyone to believe me or be convinced by my words. i'm just saying what i've experienced. We have a Hadeeth that says (that's not the exact wording, but it's the meaning of it) that if God is pleased with you, he will tell his angels to love you, and they will tell people on earth to love you. The same goes with the opposite, if he's not pleased with you, you will notice that your life is going in wierd directions, people are upset with you for no apparent reasons..you're doing things or saying things that you don't really know why you said them..and worst of all..you'll be giving yourself the most lame and stupid excuses to be doing something wrong or not doing the right thing. I am telling you, i have lived this whirlwind for 3 years and you know what? I HATED IT. i didn't know what was going on, and i didn't know what to do..i'm sure i got a lot of signs that i just ignored..but thank God i'm out of that now.
I know it may seem wacky to be just stripping myself of all the nice, friendly, and positive images that people may have about me..but i know that if at least one person could learn from that story and make good use of it, i know that it wouldn't mean a thing to me that the bad side me of shows. Basically, i just know this was a stage in my life that i've learned a lot from, it doesn't stamp me as a bad person at all.
Aside from all that..my mom got me a birthday card that truly touched me heart..if you're thinking she must've wrote some really wonderful things..you're only half right (she did, but that wasn't all!) The BEST part was that the whole card was about CHOCOLATE! It even had a little booklet about chocolate and a recipe for chocolate fondue. i made it yesterday and dipped some strawberries in it...YUMMY! i'll have to admit..chocolate will remain my no. 1 true love!
oh yea and my absolutely most fav. brother sent me a card with this photo of a little boy and a little girl, and the photo was so relevant to this incident that happened way back when we were kids..i loved it..and i loved what he wrote inside even more :) Thank you bro..YOU RULE! ;)
That's it for now..adios amigos :)
PS. I got so many wonderful gifts from my family and friends..i loved them...i just LOVE getting gifts..especially when they're something you needed or something totally unexpected!
This period of time that i've been away has been soo full of...things! they're not really events in the sense, but they're things.
here's how...
For starters, Wednesday 21st February was my 20th birthday. That was the BEST thing that happened to me this year. Not because it's my birthday, but because it's the marker of my launch into a new stage of my life, a new decade that will be so completely different than all the others. i've been doing a lot of thinking and contemplating and pondering on my life and those of the people around me, i've watched myself act and react, love and be loved, cry, laugh, feel lonely, feel like i'm the luckiest girl in the world..all at different times, and in some cases, all at the same time! I'm a person who observes very closely. I observe everything that goes on inside me and out. I try to learn from everything, from a situation in the street, from animals, movies, babies, friends..everything. i truly believe that God puts a lesson in everything that happens. One of the most critical things i've been observing in myself these past few years, has been my intellectual maturity. I'll have to admit (and that's not out of pride) that i've never been an empty or airheaded person. So in the past 3-4 years, i've noticed how my reactions and thoughts differ and grow over time, i was very glad about that, i knew this is what maturing and preparing for a new stage in life is. That was, however, something that happened at the back of my head, like a process that never stops, but isn't totally developed yet and so can't fully function. i've made a ton of mistakes in my life, especially those past 3 years, i've been out of one drop into the other. As i always like to do, i'll try to make an analogy for the way i felt..i think the closest thing that describes my state was like someone who's been drunk or drugged for the past 3 years and finally became sober and started realizing what the hell is going on. i know it's not a very pretty image here, but i also know that this is the way i felt.
Now that i look back on all the things that have been going on in my life those past years, i can pinpoint the things i've done wrong and could trace them to certain things ( meaning i could see where they led me to something else). This is such a blessing and a wonderful gift from God.
People..i have learned the one basic truth about people: They will only love you if God is satisfied with your deeds. ok i know that may sound wierd..but you know what. i'm not asking anyone to believe me or be convinced by my words. i'm just saying what i've experienced. We have a Hadeeth that says (that's not the exact wording, but it's the meaning of it) that if God is pleased with you, he will tell his angels to love you, and they will tell people on earth to love you. The same goes with the opposite, if he's not pleased with you, you will notice that your life is going in wierd directions, people are upset with you for no apparent reasons..you're doing things or saying things that you don't really know why you said them..and worst of all..you'll be giving yourself the most lame and stupid excuses to be doing something wrong or not doing the right thing. I am telling you, i have lived this whirlwind for 3 years and you know what? I HATED IT. i didn't know what was going on, and i didn't know what to do..i'm sure i got a lot of signs that i just ignored..but thank God i'm out of that now.
I know it may seem wacky to be just stripping myself of all the nice, friendly, and positive images that people may have about me..but i know that if at least one person could learn from that story and make good use of it, i know that it wouldn't mean a thing to me that the bad side me of shows. Basically, i just know this was a stage in my life that i've learned a lot from, it doesn't stamp me as a bad person at all.
Aside from all that..my mom got me a birthday card that truly touched me heart..if you're thinking she must've wrote some really wonderful things..you're only half right (she did, but that wasn't all!) The BEST part was that the whole card was about CHOCOLATE! It even had a little booklet about chocolate and a recipe for chocolate fondue. i made it yesterday and dipped some strawberries in it...YUMMY! i'll have to admit..chocolate will remain my no. 1 true love!
oh yea and my absolutely most fav. brother sent me a card with this photo of a little boy and a little girl, and the photo was so relevant to this incident that happened way back when we were kids..i loved it..and i loved what he wrote inside even more :) Thank you bro..YOU RULE! ;)
That's it for now..adios amigos :)
PS. I got so many wonderful gifts from my family and friends..i loved them...i just LOVE getting gifts..especially when they're something you needed or something totally unexpected!
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