Mistakes...

We all make mistakes..we all do, really. Some are big mistakes..some small ones. It's the way life is, no one is mistake-proof. Normally, when we make a mistake start feeling guilty right after it; sometimes we dismiss the guilt..but sometimes it's too powerful to ignore. Again..that's the way life is. Logically, we should learn from our mistakes and not repeat them in the future. That doesn't always happen. In fact, that doesn't happen most of the time. We instinctively perform and repeat whatever action that gives us any form of pleasure, even if it's consequences are sour. The only actions that we do not repeat are those that do not give us any pleasure. For example, putting your hand in the oven while it's on 220 degrees Celcius, or sticking a pin in your finger wouldn't be something anyone would do over and over --except, of course, those who find pleasure in that..which is..well..freaky. But hey, to each his own!!

Basically, we're a species that learns by doing. We do something, we get hurt. Did it feel good? No. So we don't do it again. On the other hand, we might do something else, we get hurt. Did it feel good? Yes, it hurt but something else in that action gave me pleasure. I do it again. I know it will hurt, but it also gives me pleasure.

Now, wait a minute? Are you calling me stupid? What do you mean I'll do something again if I know it hurts? Even if it gives me pleasure, it still hurts..of course I won't do it. Hold it Hold it. CUT. I am NOT calling anyone stupid here. That is human nature. We seek anything that will give us pleasure, and we convince ourselves we can bear the pain, or the consequences.

So why would I do that? I could just do something that gives me pleasure and doesn't have painful consequences. Well, usually that thing that will bear unwanted consequences is wrong, and we know it is. Instinctively, doing the wrong thing is much MUCH easier to do than the right; so whenever we are depressed, in emotional pain, lonely, angry, jealous, frustrated..all that, we seek something to make us feel good. Of course, when you're in a mental state as such, you will look for the easy way out.

So the sequence of thoughts would be:

You're in a negative emotional/mental state --> you're not thinking straight, you want to feel better in any way--> Doing the right thing requires too much effort and hey, you could do it anytime!-->You give yourself an excuse to do the wrong thing because "you're angry, upset, hurt" or you "just want to do it"--> You start doing whatever it is that makes you feel better..all the while thinking "I know this will have consequences, but i don't care, I had to, I'm really tired, I've had it"--> you're done. You did what you were so desperate to do-->instantly, the satisfaction vanishes, the guilt appears.-->Uh Oh! This is the moment, your conscience is on its way, you're gonna get the whipping right now--> You're thinking of more excuses for doing something you knew was wrong, you run out of excuses..you start getting angry at yourself "why did I do this? Why did I let myself? I knew it was wrong, I shouldn't have done it. It wasn't that much fun anyway"-->But ofcourse, you don't admit that to anyone, you only say it to yourself-->Since you can't admit you feel guilty, you start getting short-tempered and angry, you take it out on whoever is around you and start saying "this is nobody's business, mind your own and keep your nose out of mine!"

Some of you will relate to this little story, others have it in another way..but it happens to all of us, one way or another. This doesn't make us bad, as I said, it is only human to make mistakes. BUT..it begins turning from 'human' to 'stupid' when you repeat it indefinitely. You know it hurts you, but you don't take any steps to stop it, you keep repeating it day after day, week after week, cigarette after cigarette, phone call after phone call, look after look..it all depends on what your mistake is..what is it that haunts you around and lurks on your every move..and ambushes you the moment you are weak. And the cycle starts again.


Does this mean we're doomed? Oh no, no way. God is far too generous and loving to leave us like that. First of all, we have the secret weapon of prayer. If we pray, we should know that He will never leave us, even if He responds a little later..there's always a reason for the delay. Second, in our times of strength, we should remind ourselves repeatedly of the pain we suffered from the consequences of our actions, so that in times of weakness it will be easier to remember what it will feel like IF we do this again. It helps, trust me.

Any feedback on this? I'd like to hear your thoughts, perhaps there might be something I could add to this. Thanks.

I've Got a Cold :(

Last night my head and throat were feeling a little funny, I knew it must be the beginning of a cold. I think my relationships with colds and flus (that's the plural for flu--it looks wierd with an 's' on the end!) is the longest relationship I've ever had! I haven't even known my school friends for that long! So I knew when my head started getting fuzzy, and my throat started itching..I was getting a visit from an old friend!! I'm just grateful it's not the flu, I can't bear fevers!!

So enough talking about this--except I'm not all upset about getting a cold coz it was the perfect excuse to stay at home today! I so didn't feel like going to college today :)

I kind of feel like I have writer's block; I've been trying to take photos recently but I just don't have that zing inside me that tells me what or how to take a photo..so I guess that's photographer's block! Usually when I see something I tell myself "this should be photographed" and I know exactly how to take the photo to make it come out looking good. Those days I just lost that..I guess it's the stress of work. The thing is, photography is one of the things that relax me so much, take me in another world..so feeling that I can't do it now is only adding to my frustration! Here I am, sitting at my desk, with my camera next to me, it's like an old friend is upset with you..man that feels bad :(

Ok I'll go do something now..

Dunno what tho..

I'm sure I'll figure something out..

Oh yea..I wanted to go to Virgin to buy a novel or something to read

ok then,

Toodles ;)

PS. I did that presentation, it went really well thank God, aaand..I managed to watch some of the movie. I am happy :)

Case:: Temporary Depression

ok, would it seem totally contradicting if I've just been talking about laughter yesterday, and today talk about how depressed I am? I don't know what happened, I guess I just suddenly feel so...flat. I'm not achieving anything from what I should be. GOSH! I don't even want to GO OUT. Now, that's what's really worrying me. Since when do i not want to go out?!

And to make matters worse, I just remembered I have to make a final draft of my mid-term essay for the graduation course AND make a powerpoint presentation on it. OUCH! How can i present something when I HARDLY UNDERSTAND IT! True, I wrote a paper about it, which is much harder than doing a presentation...but still, i wrote that paper WEEKS ago, and i was sticking pieces of information together to get the paper done..that doesn't mean I understand it!!!

In exactly 38 minutes, I will go watch Oprah..and the hell with that presentation. I think I'll watch You've Got Mail after that...it always puts a smile on my face :)

Adios..

Laughter...Really Is The Best Medicine

Hello my dear friends, today I've experienced what the expression "laughter is the best medicine" means. For some reason unknown to me, I found myself laughing my head off this afternoon..which entailed that I go tease my mom and deprive her of her nap!! I loved it! (well, not the nap deprivation part! but the laughter part!). I found myself making jokes about everything..and my mom was happy to see me like that (it's always nice to know someone likes to see you happy :) ) and was laughing like crazy for almost an hour straight. One of the best feelings is to laugh till it hurts! Did you ever try that? It's one of those things you don't experience everyday (and that's part of it's beauty, it's quite rare those days) so when it comes, it's always welcome. Earlier I had read an article about happiness, laughter and the whole package; it said that one of the best ways to aleviate depression is to laugh out loud, even if for no reason. Gosh! IT WORKS!!

Tip of the Day: Laugh. Laugh...and Oh yea..LAUGH!

Toodles..

:)

No Title!

I've discovered that when the going gets tough and I just can't take it anymore I've GOT TO TAKE A BREAK! I usually just keep pushing myself harder and harder till I break down. I wouldn't stop unless someone gives me a virtual slap and tell me to go take a little break. I realized that knowing when to stop work is a very difficult thing, at least for me it is!!

With that said, I'm going out with my mom to get a drink and walk around the mall :)

PS. I've got 3 major projects none of which I've started on. One is my grad paper..I have to start reading the novel, I keep telling myself..I just fall asleep everytime it's in my hands!!! C'est la vie d'une étudiante!!

Giving Back A Little

Oprah's show last night really got me thinking..In some previous posts I've wondered if there was still any good in the world. Sounded very pessimistic, I know. But it was always after a tough day that I'd said that..so I guess I could be forgiven! However, after I watched Oprah's show last night, I changed my perspective...

I will quote from the Oprah.com website to make sure I got the facts correct:

"John Wood was a man who achieved the American dream. A businessman at Microsoft since 1991, he was worth millions of dollars. He lived in the lap of luxury—he flew business class around the world, lived in a beautiful home and had a personal chauffeur. "There were times when I looked around and felt like I just hit the jackpot," he says.Then, John took a vacation that would change his life forever. "My first trip to Nepal in 1998 was taken just to escape from the constant 7/24, commando, business-warrior lifestyle," he says. "I trekked for 18 days through areas that had no paved roads, no cars, no telephones. People were living in poverty in conditions that I just found shocking."During his trip, John took an opportunity to visit a school, thinking he would see the "real Nepal." What he saw depressed him. Seventy five or 80 kids were crammed into a small room with dirt floors. "Most importantly, they had a library that had only about 20 books that were backpacker cast-offs, completely inappropriate for children," he says. "And I wondered, 'How can you ever break the cycle of poverty if the kids don't get educated?'"John vowed to return to the school within a year to bring books for a new library. "One of the teachers said to me, 'Many people have told us they will come back, but nobody ever does.'" After he left the school, John journeyed to Katmandu, Nepal, where he started e-mailing about 150 of his friends. "Here are all these villages that don't have libraries, that don't have books," he says. "And I thought, 'We can change that. But we have to act now.'"With the help of his father, John began gathering more books than he ever dreamed possible. "We thought we'd collect 300, 400 books. Three thousand books rolled in, in the first month," he says. Soon thereafter, John kept his promise. He and his father returned to Nepal, loaded eight donkeys with books and visited schools to stock their libraries.As John realized the scale of the problem, he began working on more book deliveries. And the reaction of the children in villages fueled his new mission. "These kids were just mobbing us. … As I take the books out of the backpack—it's like a mosh pit," he says. "It's like a literacy-palooza!"Once the children received their books, John says they began to learn about places they'd never seen. As one little girl looked at a book about outer space, John realized she didn't even know that man had ever walked on the moon. After his first book delivery, John returned to his day job at Microsoft…but he says something inside him had changed.At first, he tried to juggle his corporate responsibilities with his charitable cause. "I was doing my literacy project in kind of a half-baked manner, and I was doing Microsoft in kind of a half-baked manner…and I'm not really a half-baked kind of guy," he says. "I would be getting an e-mail from Bill Gates's assistant about Bill's visit to China, which I was supposedly in charge of. And I was, like, 'Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, because I've got this mail over here from somebody who wants to give me 20 copies of a Dr. Seuss book for our libraries.'"Although John loved his job and all the perks that went with it, he was ready for a more meaningful existence. "I was feeling the pull," he says. "I thought, 'It's been a great eight years, but I'm making wealthy shareholders wealthier. Meanwhile, there are 800 million people in the developing world lacking basic literacy. … What kind of a man am I if I don't go face this challenge directly or devote my life to this?'"John made the difficult decision to quit his job so he could dedicate 100 percent of his energy to improving literacy in developing countries. "People said, 'You're crazy. You're having a midlife crisis,'" he says. "And I thought, 'Wouldn't it be a crisis to not follow my heart and not follow my passion?'" In just seven years, John transformed his side project into a successful nonprofit organization called Room to Read. Thanks to donations from publishing companies like Scholastic and the generosity of strangers, Room to Read has impacted the lives of more than a million children.So far, John and his team have distributed almost 3 million children's books, constructed 287 schools, established 3,600 libraries and funded more than 2,000 long-term scholarships for girls in third-world countries. But they didn't stop there!Room to Read has established local language publishing programs throughout the world so children can have access to culturally relevant books that are written in their native languages."We've had to literally find the Dr. Seuss of Nepal and the Dr. Seuss of Cambodia and give them a small amount of money to write and illustrate books that then are put in the hands of kids," he says. "By the end of this year, we'll have 250 original titles that we've produced that are all done by local authors." Since giving up millions to deliver books in rural Himalayan villages, John's life has changed dramatically. He says he's been left standing alone at a few dinner parties by people who were more interested in social status than global literacy."You give up a lot," he says. "But when [you] walk into a village … and [watch] the red ribbon get cut on a school, you think to yourself, 'This is not sacrifice. This is something that you can barely describe.' It makes you feel so good."John may be making less money than he ever has in his life, but he's also putting in more hours than he ever has before. "I feel lucky that I found this, but I also feel a certain sense of impatience because there are so many kids we haven't reached yet," he says. "Every week we get these heartbreaking letters in our office in San Francisco from people saying, 'When can you bring Room to Read to Cameroon? When can you bring Room to Read to the slums of Rio de Janeiro?' … We have to think about all the kids we haven't yet reached, and then just go back to work."Currently, there are more than 770 million illiterate adults in the world, two-thirds of whom are women and girls. John hopes to change this by building 20,000 new libraries by the year 2020."

Wouldn't it be wonderful if each one of us would take the time to do something for someone else? Imagine if each person helped just one person..wouldn't that bring love and faith into the world? Of course I'm not saying we should all open libraries and schools, and travel to poor countries..not all of us can do that..but just helping your neighbor, friend, parents, or even helping an old person or child cross the street would make the world a better place. You would be that person's hero.

Another woman that appeared in the show was also very inspiring; she clipped coupons from the paper..but not for herself...

"Last year, more than $300 billion worth of coupons were given out. Shockingly, less than 1 percent of them were used. You may look at coupons in a new light after meeting Barbara Franklin.In 2000, Barbara began using coupons to buy cartloads of groceries for impoverished members of her community. Savvy shopping allowed her to get hundreds of dollars worth of groceries for less than most people pay for a single meal at a fast-food chain. "[Once] my bill was $187, but when I finished [using coupons], I paid $3.02," she says.Barbara began passing out food from the trunk of her car, but when the demand outgrew her small Kia, her church allowed her to set up in the basement. Church members also agreed to help her categorize the food, clip coupons and stock up on more groceries. "We would go into the stores every Sunday, and we would wipe out the shelves," Barbara says.They started out helping 10 families, which grew to 100 and then 1,000. Now, Barbara runs a food pantry that feeds 1,500 families a month! When Barbara first started passing out food on the streets, she says she realized that it was a doorway into people's lives. Through these interactions, she realized her community needed more than a food pantry…they needed a community center.Barbara's church donated a nearby building for her community center, and she is working to raise funds to rehabilitate it. She also continues to run a food bank, an after-care center for children, a Section 8 program and a senior drop-off food program. "You could really see what the issues were in our community," she says. "I believed that the community center would be a lighthouse, so that I could see into the lives [of others]."


It's amazing, how someone could just devote their time and life to helping others..and it's so rewarding when you see the joy on peoples' faces, and seeing the results of your work. It's ecstatic.

I don't think I could say much more after these stories..except..It is so wonderful to give back.

(Note: The origin of the materials used in this post can be found at: www.oprah.com)

A Letter...2nd Edition :)

Well, according to a request from a blog visitor, who said that I should make the previous post "A Letter" more clear, I will explain some of the things that I think may have been unclear. We like to keep our readers satisfied :)

What I talked about in the first paragraph basically just meant that all of us, or at least most of us, have one or two things that they need so much but can't temporarily have it for some reason. We know that we will get this thing eventually, but because we need it so badly, we just can't wait to get to the moment in which we get it. So sometimes, you could see or hear something that gives you patience and helps you feel that it's ok to wait, you will still get what you want..eventually. This thing could be...well, anything..it depends on your life and personality, what you have and what you don't..what you need and what you don't.

Second paragraph is just a continuation of the first.

The third paragraph is a little off topic to the first two paragraphs, and I'm guessing that's where the confusion came from..The reason this happened was that I spaced out for a while after writing the first two paragraphs, then i wrote the third paragraph which was a fruit of my thoughts throughout the few minutes that i spaced out (by the way, spaced out means kont sar7ana)

I think the third paragraph is pretty much self-explanatory..unless i feel that way because i'm the one who wrote it. If it's still unclear, I'm willing to explain, Anonymous (whoever commented on the last post).

As for the last two lines..well, they come from something I heard yesterday..and I really related to them. I'm a little exhausted of how everything has become a negotiation now, from the shop assistant who tries to convince you that something is right for you when you swear to him/her that it won't (after all, it's you who's going to use it, what the hell is their business?!) to the study group you're with, to your family, even in marriage..all I'm hearing from people those days "they want this, but that's too much, it's her mom, it's his parents, they're in for the money, they don't know anything about marriage, but my parents don't understand me" UGH! it's just everywhere..even the most beautiful and joyous affairs have been turned into business-is-business type situation. Everyone is heartless, selfish, scared, dry...just not human. There's no inspiration in the world anymore..even creativity is only for the sake of making money. I'm not asking for a Utopian world, I know that will never exist. I am realist, mind you, I'm just saying...where's have feelings gone? Is there still such thing as caring for one another?

You know..it seems that someone is always trying to convince me with something, negotiate something..and it's always for their benefit. That's why I'm just sick and tired of this type of communication. No more just sitting down to chat, laugh, joke. I mean, it happens (I'm not a drag!) but it's not present in enough quantities to get you relaxed enough to keep going with your life.

So, that is what I meant..

A Letter..

Dear friends,

I've come to realize something recently - today - to be exact!! Sometimes you could crave something for so many years, believing with all your heart that you cannot live without this thing in your life. You may cry over it..get depressed..give up on many things..you may even lose a lot of things because of your obssession with this thing. Then one night..for some reason..you find yourself free of this desperate longing. You ask yourself, did it happen all of a sudden? or was it building up all along? It's strange. But it feels so good. Yes. You are finally free of that ghost haunting you around every second of your life. You feel like you could do anything in the world...people..it feels good.

You know you still need this thing though...but now you're just willing to accept reality and wait for it to come, because you know it's coming anyway...and you're obssession isn't going to quicken the process.

It's funny how sometimes painful memories could imprison you for so long. You create fears inside you that you never knew existed. You build up feelings, beliefs, and impressions based on these memories...all the while knowing that it's your fault you're holding onto painful images and feelings.

I need inspiration..
not just another negotiation

How true.

To my friends, with love,
Lubna

To Trust or Not To Trust?

There is a person. Let's call this person (A). (A) was raised their whole life on certain standards and values. Lying, for instance, was always talked of in (A)'s family as a horrible sin; and that there is no such thing as a white lie or a green lie..a lie's a lie. (A) has certain values for themselves, that they choose to live by and believe in. Like perhaps, honesty, and that doesn't mean just being open, it means being genuine in your feelings and reactions. What you show is what you feel, and not just what you want people to think. (A) will be a very happy person. A world without lies, manipulation, or deception is never a bad thing..

But wait..There IS no such thing! (A) grows up, goes to school, interacts with people outside their family. They begin making new friends, meeting their families and coming face to face with new values and cultures. (A) gets one shock after the other. They meet people who lie for the slightest reasons, who manipulate people to get what they want, who don't care what happens around them as long as they can come out unharmed. They meet people who show anything but what they truly feel - And this was the WORST SHOCK OF ALL. Could there be such people? WHY would they do that? (A) just couldn't get it..just why would people hide their true feelings?

Bit by bit..(A) started to lost trust in what people show. No longer able to tell whether a person is acting or being truly genuine, (A) decided that no one can be trusted. It became a way of life for (A). Everyone who would say or do something, probably meant something else. (A) would look at people as they talk, trying to figure out if the expressions of happiness, sympathy, or love were true ones. Unfortunately, there was no way for (A) to find that out because (A) still couldn't comprehend WHY they did it, why they had to hid behind some mask. Because (A) couldn't understand, they couldn't do the same, and they never knew how it felt to be expressing one thing while feeling another deep inside.

One day, (A) was watching TV. There were two people in this scene, one was asking the other for forgiveness because they had deceived that person. The one being asked looked at the other person for a long time..and then finally decided to forgive that person. She believed him. She believed that his expression of apology was genuinely felt. That got (A) thinking..what made her believe him? (besides the director telling her to do so!) But in reality what would make anyone sure of the other person's expressions of any emotions. If you could be deceived one time, couldn't you be deceived another, and another, and another? When would you know to really believe whomever is claiming to feel something?

That..is a question that never left (A)'s mind..always wondering..when do you know how to trust someone?

Whatever..

So I'm starting mid-terms on monday. Funny thing is up till a few hours ago, I was so relaxed and confident. However, suddenly I started getting so worried that I wouldn't finish studying in time and I've got a ton to study. All that just came out as minor/temporary depression. However, I managed to take some cool shots of the sun setting down between two buildings infront of our house, and I've been trying to do that for a while but the sun always comes out too bright or too dark..never the way it really looks.

They say the sooner you reach the thing you're waiting for, the easier the rest of the way will seem..well, I'm here, and I'm telling them: Yea Right! Here I am, two months, two months only (inshallah) from graduation and it seems like a whole year ahead of me! My God! I knew when i started out at MIU that they were serious about work, but i never thought that they would be THAT serious! I am just so tired. I'm cracking up like an overboiled egg (hehe..what an image!)

As usual I've discovered a lot of things about the people I know through conversations and situations..like recently, I've realized that some people could be really fun to talk to if they stopped focusing on what they did and what they bought and what they're going to do in a million years..basically if they stopped focusing on: me me me me me! When they talk about general things, life, food, stuff..they're really enjoyable!

I've also discovered that some people could be so persistent, that they would do something or say something they know would upset you because a few months back they said that same thing and it upset you back then!! But i also discovered (to my shock) that what upset you a few months back won't neccessarily upset you now :)

I've learned the hard way that being the sacrificial goat is only fun the first few times..if it goes too far, you will realize that you're spreading yourself too thin for people or reasons that are not worth it. However, if you are taking the correct neyya (intention), which is to do this to please Allah in order to gain his mercy, kindness, and love; then you won't feel like people have a "kick me" posted on your back.

I've also learned that saying I've got to sleep early EVERY NIGHT and yet not doing anything about it gets you so FRUSTRATED AND DEPRESSED! so instead of sitting here killing myself, i'll go to bed.

Night..

Memories...

yesterday the weather was awesome. A light breeze blowing through the windows, rays of sunlight softly entering through the light curtains...and everything was so tranquil. My favorite word: tranquil. It just brings peace into the conversation. I was sitting alone in the living room, after everyone had gone off doing something. It was about 3 or 4 pm, we had just had lunch, and everything was just peaceful. In our house, there was what seemed like the whole family! At least all the women in the family (and we are a BIG family); although this was just a small gathering to bid farewell to those going on a 3omra, it still seemed like a lot of people under one roof. I LOVED IT! I love having people over and sharing all the love, laughter, food (very important in our family!), and ideas. It was even more cool because some of those people were staying over at our place for a couple nights, not just coming for a visit.

So it was a beautiful evening, everyone had just eaten and some went off to nap, pray or do whatever. I was sitting alone in that beautiful breeze. To add to that, the streets were dead outside because of easter holiday, everyone was home or away or something. It reminded me of those "good 'ol days" when the whole family would gather in my uncle's villa in King Mariut. It would always be in Eid holidays, summer vacations, any 2 days off we could get really!! If I were to judge, these would be the best times I spent in my life, next to that would be the summers we spent in Agami. Two of my aunts and us had appartments there, right infront of the beach, and my other two aunts would come and spend a week or two with us. It was heaven for me, because suddenly they would decide, and my mom and aunts would start calling their cousins and uncles to invite them over. Oh it was so amazing! The kids (meaning me and my three cousins) would go downstairs to wait for their cars to arrive and help them with carrying the stuff. These were ecstatic moments for me.

It was only yesterday, at that moment that I had all those flashbacks, that I realized that one of my most peaceful moments is when I'm sitting in a breeze like that with beautiful, shy sunrays. Nothing in the world could bring me down, it helps me take my mind off everything that's going wrong in my world.

Anyway...it was nice remembering all those things :)

Sphygmomanometer..really, I'm not kidding!

I just learned how to measure blood pressure with the mercurial Sphygmomanometer (that's the device doctors measure blood pressure with. It's so cool to know how to do those things!!

After I measured my blood pressure, I put the stethoscope (the thing doctors listen to your heart with)on my chest, and i listened to the steady beats of my heart..It was unbelievable how relaxing that could be! u just listen....thud, thud, thud, thud...it really got me thinking, wow, sob7an Allah who made this heart the shape it is, working in the perfect, divine system that it works in, controlling the flow of blood to the whole body at all times, day and night..even during your sleep when you're totally uncounscious; your heart is still beating at a steady pace keeping you alive. What is more marvelous than that is that this seemingly powerful organ of your body is still not more than cells and tissues. So it's God that gives it the orders to keep working, to be strong enough to push the blood around your body in less than seconds, moving up to your head and down to your legs. And all this is done for who? YOU. This whole organized, stable, miraculous system works only for you, it's almsot as if you are the ruler of a whole kingdom, and all the workers in it are at YOUR service. You mistreat them by eating wrong, smoking, not exercising, oversleeping..and it still works for you. It never hands in it's resignation paper. No human on earth, no matter how much they love you or fear you would slave as much for you; they would reach a limit and say enough is enough.

Isn't that true? It's one of those times I become dumbstruck by another of God's miracles on Earth. Our bodies and their systems, nature and its system, animals, trees, insects, the solar system..and most importantly of all that..how ALL these things have been made by Allah to serve us, humans. They are His gift for us in this life. The sad thing is, after all that, we don't see why we should obey Him, follow Him, make sacrifices in our lives for Him, at the very least put Him into our consideration when we're making decisions throughout our day.

We all agree that being able to see, hear, feel, taste, and smell, the five basic senses, are great blessings. Yet we never really thank Him for these things. We take them for granted and see them as something we HAVE to have, it's common sense. But the truth is, we don't. We could have been born without one, two, or even three of those senses (and I'm only talking about the 5 BASIC senses..not to mention the millions of other things in our bodies alone). Isn't it true? Couldn't He have made us unable to smell? or see? or touch? Some people are born that way. That is their hardship in life, and God help them in managing it well. So why do take them for granted? Why don't we ever say something as simple as "Thank you God, for making me see, hear, feel, smell, and taste" See? It's dead simple. Not even time consuming!! And you know what? the good thing about this, is that Allah says "la2in shakartom la azeedannakom", which basically means in english, "If you thank me, I shall give you more" WOW! As simple as that!! No climbing mountains or breaking records to win Allah's kindness; all you have to do is be thankful for what He has given you. So you ask me, how could he give us more? it's not as if I'll see more or hear more when I thank Him!! Well, maybe not, but at least He's going to protect your senses for you, prevent an accident that was going to happen to you and cost you one of those senses. That's just as good, isn't it?

So, now whenever you remember something He gave you and you feel blessed because of it, thank Him; it doesn't have to be only these five senses..anything you have was given to you by Him. There is absolutely no doubt or question about it. So..go ahead people, thank Him at any time and at all times, in any way, form, or language..after all, it was Him who inspired us with these languages, right? :)

First Impressions..

you know what really makes me sad? It's when you are so nice and easygoing with people you've met a while ago..and they completely misunderstand you. Something like that just happened yesterday at school and i just discovered it today. UGH! it just pisses me off!!

I don't know what to do with myself, I'm an outgoing person and as long as people don't cross the line with me, I'm totally fine. why do people make you feel that you're wrong or weird to be like that? and they talk about it behind your back?! oh my God! Like you're some kind of mental psycho. So what are you supposed to do, put up boundaries with everyone around you, and then they'd just say you're too stuck up!

Which basically brings me to what I've always believed in: If you know you're not doing something wrong, the hell with what people think.

Is there such a thing as first impressions? Is it really lasting like they say? I personally believe that those who hold on to the first impressions that they get of people should...well, they're just hardheaded (if there's such a word) I always tell myself, what if this person was having a hard day when i first saw them, or they just heard some bad news? It happens to all of us, why not? Or the complete opposite, what if that person was extra cheerful that day, then you'd be wondering the rest of the time "what happened to them? they weren't like that!"

I don't believe that first impressions should stick in anyone's head..that's just too prejudice and unfair.