A lot of people are blaming me for saying that I find it difficult to trust people anymore..it's like everyone is strong, confident, trusting, and all that..99% of those who tell me to trust people probably can't trust anyone themselves! But anyhow..what I realized through my thinking is that it's not that I don't trust people with my secrets..because that I do..I say things to people that, if I don't trust ppl in that manner, wouldn't dream of telling them anything. The way in which I don't trust people, as I discovered, is that I just can't trust them with my feelings..I can't trust to be open and myself with them. I can't trust people to be something and act as something else..and I end up discovering a year or so later. I just can't take that anymore..I keep my guard up at all times..I mean, what's the point of getting hurt when I could just avoid it? To be truthful, I'm blessed that no one has hurt me by letting my secrets out..maybe because I'm always keen on keeping others' secrets so God is rewarding me that way..so I don't really feel the lack of trust in that manner..but rather in the way I've explained before.
Well..that's it, I just had to let that out now. I've aching all over (stress-pain, nothing to worry about), so I can't write anymore.
Showing posts with label Trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Trust. Show all posts
Thursday, 17 May 2007
Thursday, 19 April 2007
To Trust or Not To Trust?
There is a person. Let's call this person (A). (A) was raised their whole life on certain standards and values. Lying, for instance, was always talked of in (A)'s family as a horrible sin; and that there is no such thing as a white lie or a green lie..a lie's a lie. (A) has certain values for themselves, that they choose to live by and believe in. Like perhaps, honesty, and that doesn't mean just being open, it means being genuine in your feelings and reactions. What you show is what you feel, and not just what you want people to think. (A) will be a very happy person. A world without lies, manipulation, or deception is never a bad thing..
But wait..There IS no such thing! (A) grows up, goes to school, interacts with people outside their family. They begin making new friends, meeting their families and coming face to face with new values and cultures. (A) gets one shock after the other. They meet people who lie for the slightest reasons, who manipulate people to get what they want, who don't care what happens around them as long as they can come out unharmed. They meet people who show anything but what they truly feel - And this was the WORST SHOCK OF ALL. Could there be such people? WHY would they do that? (A) just couldn't get it..just why would people hide their true feelings?
Bit by bit..(A) started to lost trust in what people show. No longer able to tell whether a person is acting or being truly genuine, (A) decided that no one can be trusted. It became a way of life for (A). Everyone who would say or do something, probably meant something else. (A) would look at people as they talk, trying to figure out if the expressions of happiness, sympathy, or love were true ones. Unfortunately, there was no way for (A) to find that out because (A) still couldn't comprehend WHY they did it, why they had to hid behind some mask. Because (A) couldn't understand, they couldn't do the same, and they never knew how it felt to be expressing one thing while feeling another deep inside.
One day, (A) was watching TV. There were two people in this scene, one was asking the other for forgiveness because they had deceived that person. The one being asked looked at the other person for a long time..and then finally decided to forgive that person. She believed him. She believed that his expression of apology was genuinely felt. That got (A) thinking..what made her believe him? (besides the director telling her to do so!) But in reality what would make anyone sure of the other person's expressions of any emotions. If you could be deceived one time, couldn't you be deceived another, and another, and another? When would you know to really believe whomever is claiming to feel something?
That..is a question that never left (A)'s mind..always wondering..when do you know how to trust someone?
But wait..There IS no such thing! (A) grows up, goes to school, interacts with people outside their family. They begin making new friends, meeting their families and coming face to face with new values and cultures. (A) gets one shock after the other. They meet people who lie for the slightest reasons, who manipulate people to get what they want, who don't care what happens around them as long as they can come out unharmed. They meet people who show anything but what they truly feel - And this was the WORST SHOCK OF ALL. Could there be such people? WHY would they do that? (A) just couldn't get it..just why would people hide their true feelings?
Bit by bit..(A) started to lost trust in what people show. No longer able to tell whether a person is acting or being truly genuine, (A) decided that no one can be trusted. It became a way of life for (A). Everyone who would say or do something, probably meant something else. (A) would look at people as they talk, trying to figure out if the expressions of happiness, sympathy, or love were true ones. Unfortunately, there was no way for (A) to find that out because (A) still couldn't comprehend WHY they did it, why they had to hid behind some mask. Because (A) couldn't understand, they couldn't do the same, and they never knew how it felt to be expressing one thing while feeling another deep inside.
One day, (A) was watching TV. There were two people in this scene, one was asking the other for forgiveness because they had deceived that person. The one being asked looked at the other person for a long time..and then finally decided to forgive that person. She believed him. She believed that his expression of apology was genuinely felt. That got (A) thinking..what made her believe him? (besides the director telling her to do so!) But in reality what would make anyone sure of the other person's expressions of any emotions. If you could be deceived one time, couldn't you be deceived another, and another, and another? When would you know to really believe whomever is claiming to feel something?
That..is a question that never left (A)'s mind..always wondering..when do you know how to trust someone?
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