Superficiality: Parenting or Personality?

you know..it strikes me how some people could be so damn superficial. Have you ever had a friend or colleague who's just so superficial it made you laugh?! Well..i do, and i don't know whether i should laugh, or slap the dude ::roll eyes::

I have a colleague in university, he falls in the category of people who i just shared one or two classes with throughout the whole eight semesters. We bumped into each other at the beginning of this semester and exchanged the usual 'hi, how are ya' kinda thing. Incidentally, this semester I've started wearing my glasses again (I'd been wearing contacts for the last 2 1/2 years), so this was the first time he'd see me in glasses. Now, i know i don't look bad in glasses. i used to believe that before (but i won't get into that now, it's a loong story). So after the hi's and all, this guy stared at me in shock (literally) and was like "oh my God, Lubna, WHY are you wearing glasses?" I gave a little lopsided smile and something that sounded like a smoking engine and told him "well, I just got tired of wearing contacts, and my eyes started irritating me" but as if the open-mouth gape he gave me wasn't enough, he said "NO...No, wear your contacts, don't wear your glasses anymore" (OUCH!) ok dude, i just told u my eyes aren't well, WHAT are you talking about? Gosh..anywayz, so since i was expecting this reaction from some people, i acted normal and just told him "why? my eyes became very sensitive from wearing them too much, and besides, i'm not at a fashion show, this is university. who cares?" would he get the hint and SHUT UP?? ooooh no, not this dude! he went on as if i've been standing there silent for the past 10 minutes "but you look so much better with your contacts (ie. without glasses), please, don't wear your glasses anymore" OH MY GOD! could i slap you or what?! That's when i stopped smiling and just turned to the cashier guy, just like that. i mean, umm, excuse me: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO EVEN HAVE AN OPINION IN THE WAY I LOOK? i could look like a monkey for all i care and i wouldn't even want to know what he thinks. of course i didn't tell him that last part..but i sure was thinking it. the conversation went on like that till i told him "c'mon i'm telling you my health is in danger, what more do u want?" he was still insisting that i look so much better without the glasses. ::BIG roll eyes:: finally..just before i walked away, i told him "Well, you know what, if you don't like the way i look, don't look at me!!" That was as nice as i could put it. oh for the number of things i had in my head to say to him! ANYWAY! the best thing was watching his face drop when i said that!! You deserve it baby! Oh yeah..


Can you believe that guy? now is that superficiality in the flesh or what?

i mean he's not my friend, he's not my fiance, he's not my husband, he doesn't even like me..why the hell would he care how i look..besides, i DON'T EVEN LOOK BAD!

whatever, so besides that dude getting on my nerves for like a split second, this incident got me thinking; it made me realize how some people only deal with people who fulfill a certain standard of beauty. and amazingly, the moment this person's friends are no longer beautiful (or at least he/she think so) for some reason, this person could just walk by them like they don't even know their name.

This made me wonder..what makes one person so superficial and another so deep. I said to myself, it's got to be the parenting, a child grows up, sees that his parent(s) give so much attention to appearances the kid is bound to end up thinking that way, and vice versa. But wait a minute, how about if two siblings, grew up in the same house, with the same parents and circumstances, and one turned out one way and the other turned out the complete opposite. Well...i was discussing this with a friend of mine, and it didn't take us long to figure out a possible solution or reason for that; she said that it's probably the person's willingness to become that way, then i said but the parenting must have some hand in that - they either encourage that side or dicourage it in their child. So the final result of that conversation was: it's both. The two factors contribute to making a person grow up to be superficial or not: The parents, and the childs willingness.

But i have a feeling that this isn't all..say for example, that a child has the willingness, and his parents encourage him (to become superficial), and then throughout the course of that child's (now an adult) life something happens to him that makes him see things differently, so he knows that this is something bad, and decides to change his view of things. There you have the two factors, but still and unsuperficial person. Does this mean we have a third factor now? Life's Circumstances? Hmm..perhaps..

Does anyone else think about this? If you do, I'd love to hear your thoughts on that issue, perhaps i'd learn something new from you :)

toodles..